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DREAM DAY, D-DAY TOMORROW

My dream day is pretty simple. I had one recently. Did I live every moment to the max and soak up the vibes? Or did I just feel lucky as hell to be a part of such a day? Well let me tell you my idea of a dream day at my house:

HUSBAND SCHOOL GRADED ON CURVE

Husband school, if you want to know, has one major problem: The teachers. With such poor examples leading class, who are they to judge? Start with the fairy book life of this former prince.

NEW EXPECTATIONS? HOPE ISN’T ENOUGH?

Who says we need new expectations? Every baby boomer on the planet, if they’ve got any awareness. Who else? Every millennial on the planet. They don’t get off so easy. First the old people:

TOP WEED CITY? PORTLAND OREGON AND IT’S NOT CLOSE

If Portland is the top weed city, who’s next? According to KOIN and Real Estate Witch, behind Portland and Denver, Buffalo, New York City, Seattle and Baltimore were recognized as the most stoner-friendly cities. Can you see the problem? I’ll help clear things up.

CUSTOMER SERVICE BLOGGER: WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?

“Customer service calls may be recorded for training and accuracy.” That’s fine, I’m recording too. But I’m not, I just say that to myself when I hear the recorded message before getting help. You can say it to yourself while you read this:

HEALTHY ALCOHOL LAST CALL NO LAUGHING MATTER

The latest news on healthy alcohol? It’s not as healthy as promised. A glass of red wine is no longer the health standard, as if it ever was. But it’s had a good run.

CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE IN THREE PARTS

Civil disobedience arrived the night I was standing in front of an Army barracks listening to an order from a captain. “First Platoon report.” I was the leader of the fourth platoon during a middle of the night fire drill where things didn’t go well. “Fourth platoon, report.”

CHOOSING SIDES: IT’S MORE THAN SHIRTS vs SKINS?

The secret to choosing sides? Sometimes you don’t choose, you get chosen, picked. Then you find yourself standing on one side of a line. How do you make sure it’s the best side for you when you know the other will eventually look better?

SINGING ALONG, OR ALONE, BUT SING IT

When is the last time you were singing along with anyone outside of church? Chances are it’s been a while if you’re not churched, or not in a band. Is it because you don’t have a song to sing? We can fix that. But it’s more than lack of a song, isn’t it?

DREAM OREGON FIRST, THEN GET TO WORK

Dream Oregon first, or you’ll be working in someone else’s dream. Will it be to your liking? If you don’t have a dream, you won’t know the difference. So let’s figure it out based on experience, my experience.