NORMAL HUMAN NEEDS. NORMAL?

Normal human needs seem pretty obvious?

They aren’t much different than the other animals in the jungle.

Air to breath.

Clean water, shelter, clothing.

The basics.

My parents nailed the first three levels for their kids.

No bumps in the road for them while their boys were growing up.

The bumps came later.

 

Ma and Pa had plenty of bumps while they were growing up.

My Grandma divorced the father of her daughter, my Mom, in the 1930’s, which if we’re to believe, had to have been a major scandal.

But she was already used to controversy.

She’d been the top student, the valedictorian of all Dallas, Texas, which came with a full ride scholarship to Southern Methodist University.

She decided to drop out after her best friend didn’t stand up for her in sorority rush, and go to the University of Texas the next year.

There went free college. That was 1928.

After the stock market crash wiped out the big money, there went her higher education.

 

Gma: Daddy I’ll go the UT next year.

Daddy: No honey, you’ll get a job.

 

She went out with the girls after work, met a rascal, got married, got pregnant. She liked to remind us of the order of operations.

 

New Husband: Darling, I understand how you ladies are when you’re pregnant, so I’ve got the woman down the street lined up to carry on with.

Gma: ?

 

That’s the reproduction part of the story. It’s an old story told too many times.

And that was it for marriage #1.

 

Sleep And Clothing

Who doesn’t dream of pioneer women on the frontier making everything better?

I know I do.

My Grandma felt like one of them.

These ladies were in historical garb for a gathering.

I’m there to snuggle in like I’m part of the community, then go home and take a nap with all of the fluttering of earlier in the day.

 

The love and belonging that goes with every era didn’t miss the 1970’s.

Back then we learned that if you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with.

Some girls weren’t looking for Mr. Right, they wanted Mr. Right Now.

A decade later or more, after a conversion experience, an awakening, or a guilt trip for spending too long in Bang Town, everyone gained some esteem, some empathy, and found a purpose, a goal, meaning in life.

In other words, they got older, I got older, everyone got older.

 

The Purpose? Glad You Asked

I saw a clip yesterday where an older man, maybe sixty, talked about the meaning of his life now, finding purpose and direction, and reflected back to his earlier days.

He said he was jealous of everyone with kids still living in their house.

That’s when he had a purpose, a meaning, and it was clearing a path to the front door and sending his kids off to school every day.

And I couldn’t agree more. Now, is that what he really did? I don’t know.

But I have witnesses to my happy days.

My kids asked why I was always around? Their friends even wondered.

 

Me: Your mother and I decided we’d all be better off with me at home. Which friends wondered about me being around? Go on and look at where they come from. That’s why they ask. They want to come to your house and do the shit they can’t do at theirs. Maybe they need some ‘dad time’ because they don’t have one that has time?

Them: Oh. One asked if you were a gigolo.

Me: Tell him to ask his Mom.

 

I think I learned empathy when I saw the first murder on television.

It was November 22, 1963.

I even felt sorry for the murderer when he was murdered on TV.

So often with tragedy someone has to calm emotions to somewhere near normal.

On a national scale the President often takes the lead and shows how it’s supposed to be done.

 

JFK: Let us begin the work toward a better country.

LBJ: Let us continue the work toward a better country.

 

Normal human needs include a respectful send-off to those who no longer share their life with us.

I was in fourth grade in 1963 watching crying teachers come into the cafeteria and tell us to go home.

When the JFK funeral interrupted regularly scheduled programing on Saturday morning, cartoons, we knew something was up.

Since then I’ve learned what it is to mourn a loved one, as well as the passing of the anonymous multitudes.

 

PS: When sadness lands hard on someone you know, find a way to let them know you feel for them.

PSS: When a celebrity dies, even one you don’t like, don’t whiz on their memory if you have one of them. You think you know them well enough to dislike them? They’re actors. You don’t know them, you know their roles.

If you can’t say something nice . . . ?