JAKE’S WALL OF FAME FOR NOTABLE OREGONIANS

If you’re a notable Oregonian your picture is in Jake’s Famous Crawfish.

They they are, senators, governors, a president.

Who’s missing? Mayors, councilmen and women, maybe a famous chef or two.

If you’re going to have a can kicking Hemingway on board, why not reach out for others?

Jake’s Famous Crawfish Restaurant has become a classic, but it didn’t happen overnight. Thanks to you and generations of guests, Jake’s has celebrated more than 127 years of dining excellence.

A cast of Hollywood stars, politicians, and athletes, from Humphrey Bogart and Casey Stengel to Madonna and Michael Jordan, have helped create Jake’s special ambience and golden history – which started, naturally, with a man named Jake.

 

Exceptional, classy, and comfortable, Jake’s continues to attract a special crowd. The restaurant allows guests to experience Northwest cuisine at its best.

Menus are crafted and printed each day, after the early morning delivery of seafood and shellfish from the Pacific, Atlantic, and Gulf of Mexico. Locally-sourced produce and ingredients ensure unmatched freshness. 

Sitting here, you have become a part of a century-old tradition, a tradition that lives on in friendly service, delicious food, and rich conversation. Thank you for being part of our rich history.

 

Rich conversations and rich history have something in common? Rich?

You can run up a bill pretty fast at dinner time.

It’s worth it when you corral everyone in the same place.

Where? Jakes? We’ll be there.

 

Then And Now

Before I got married, had kids, and moved to the suburbs, I did what I’d done in Philadelphia and New York when I lived out there: I walked around town and looked in windows.

I was in my twenties and when I looked in the window at Jake’s bar during happy hour I saw guys in their thirties and forties having big laughs with their buddies and a group of pretty ladies in their twenties.

Pretty ladies? Yes, like TV pretty, all made up, dressed up, and having a big time.

Nothing unusual about that.

What was unusual was seeing the same women in a dive bar in my neighborhood where one of their friends worked.

They were a ladies’ club on their off day in shorts, cut-offs, and tank tops, a different look than their Jake’s glamor.

This bar, Valeries, was a block away from my apartment. Those were the days. Now the closest I am to anything is a mile away.

Back then I’d go over for a sandwich, and not just any sandwich. Those people could put a plate together with the best of them.

One Wednesday afternoon the Jake’s ladies were in there reviewing their weekend and plans for the coming weekend.

They laughed their way through stories about traveling to Palm Springs with their boyfriends.

 

Girl 1: My guy says we need to take a break. His wife needs him to be home with the new baby.

Girl 2: My guy has a friend who’s going out of town. I could give him your number.

Girl 3: Be careful if it’s who I think it is.

Girl 2: It is, but he’s better now.

Girl 1: I’m not worried. I can handle these guys.

 

Now And Then

I used to walk past the windows of Jake’s and look in to see a lot of gray haired groups sitting at tables.

Now I’m one of them.

The difference being I always get the rogue crawfish that wants to attack the rest of the table.

Look out.

In my pre-dotage I’ve learned to look out the windows of Jake’s from the inside.

I’m looking for some wise-acre kid peering in at the old people blowing $50 on bowls of soup.

I’m looking for lively young women hustling drinks in the bar and making dates with guys in their 30’s and 40’s.

Where are the ladies from yesteryear? Probably married and settled down in a big house way up in the West Hills.

 

I know all about that other guy
The handsome man with athletic thighs
Yeah, I know all about the time before
Of that obsessive little rich boy
They might make you think you’re happy
Yeah, maybe for a minute or two
They can’t make you laugh
No, they can’t make you feel the way that I do

I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect, shiny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the West Hills
I will buy you a new life
And I will buy you a new life

 

The first time I heard this Everclear song it hit hard.

Art sings about the girls I met in Valerie’s, the Jake’s girls, after they decided to quit the fast life.

But there’s still a little hangover.

You say you wake up crying
And you don’t know why

 

You know why, I know why, they know why.

Once you break the faith, break the trust, how hard is it to start anew?

But start you must since the clock is running and age is creeping up.

How many ladies in their forties and fifties spark traveling men on a weekend get-away?

Now they bring the whole show, the exes, kids, secret reservations, medical conditions, and the specter of a lonely future in a rented room.

 

PS:

Are any of the men and women of those fast times from the past on Jake’s Wall of Fame?

 

PSS:

If they are it’s for being notable in their new lives way up in the West Hills.

Yeah.