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WEIGHT LOSS: DOES MY MAN MUU MUU MAKE ME LOOK FAT?

December 23, 2022 by

Weight loss is a cruel joke on December 23rd. Christmas cookies, Christmas candy, Christmas cake and pie? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Eat it or risk hurting someone’s feelings. Eat it and say you liked it.

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LOSING WEIGHT? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?

July 16, 2022 by

When you’re losing weight, two things happen: It’s either a celebration of mind over matter, with the matter being eating too much. Or it’s a medical investigation because you haven’t stopped eating everything in sight and you’re still losing weight. Either way you weigh less, and if you happen to start as an XXXL, it’s […]

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BLOG REVIEW: WHAT’S UP AND WHAT’S DOWN ON BOOMERPDX

April 13, 2021 by

Blog review day shows which topics are stronger than others. The second biggest hitter of all time here is a gym guide on how to deal with naked dudes on parade. Spoiler: Try and ignore them. Coming in at #1, with credit to Reddit, is a take on Michelangelo’s David. That David is different than […]

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COMPETITION QUESTIONS FOR THE NON-COMPETITIVE

April 8, 2021 by

Competition questions start before you realize there’s even a competition happening. One of my favorites: “Do you even lift, bro?” It’s usually asked by a mid-forties man in a workout costume. It’s completed by an undershirt that looks like something out of a lady’s drawer. When it’s a question asked by a guy with greased […]

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AN HONEST TRUTH TRICK FOR YOUNG AND OLD

September 17, 2020 by

Young people in their 30’s want the honest truth. They ask me, “Is that true,” after I oversell a rare authority statement. Since they know my main fun in life is showing them how gullible they are, they ask. And, if they ask and it’s not true, I say it’s not true. If it is […]

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DOES YOUR FAMILY HATE YOU ENOUGH? GET BUSY

April 7, 2017 by

  Family hate means family values 0.  Are you the right gender? Check early pictures to see if you’re wearing the right clothes. If you’re a guy and your baby pictures look like a girl, relax. General Douglas MacArther wore a dress and long hair as a child. It was the fashion, and it didn’t hurt […]

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Portland Boomer Thinks About Losing Weight?

December 5, 2013 by

Not For Long Let’s agree that you are thoughtful and considerate, that you know how to do the right thing and make an effort to do just that. So far so good? In addition, since you are a Portland baby boomer, a boomer living somewhere else, or just know boomers, you’ve had time to consider the […]

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