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CHOICE MATTERS WHEN CHOOSING BREAD

Choice matters whether party planning around a main course of Vienna Sausage, cheese fondue, or cheesesteak. The right bread is of utmost importance. It can’t be too dense, too airy, too crusty, too mushy, too dark, too white, too seedy, not seedy enough. Bread has to be just right when choice matters, especially when you […]

BABY BOOMER ALERT: YOU’RE OLD AND YOU CAN’T HIDE IT ANYMORE

    A question for readers in the baby boomer demographic: when did you realize you can’t hide your age? Was it when you first made a skin tent on the back of your hand? The first dark spot that looked just like the one you remember on your grandma’s arm? When you noticed something […]

WHAT SORT OF PARENT DID YOUR PARENTS WARN YOU ABOUT

    Did you become the sort of parent your parents warned you about? Are you surprised? We had stern warnings growing up about kids from unsupervised homes, which meant anyone different than us. Those were houses we weren’t allowed to visit. It was supposed to be a vaccine against hard partying high school nights. […]

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU, (UH HUH)

    Knowing Me As a young child in an unsupervised moment one of my playmates decided to ride his trike. I hopped on the back axle where there was room to stand and gave him a big push. Except he pulled back on the handle bars just as I pushed and popped a wheelie […]

Portland Bird Flip To The Rest Of You

    The Portland bird is one thing, the Portland bird flip a whole ‘nother thing.   If it’s not this, it’s that for Portland. Close to the mountains, close to the beach, and if the pace of new building is any indicator, close to the new neighbors.   Like any city over a certain […]

Miranda Dating Rights For The New Era Of Rising STD

    Have you ever asked someone out on a date?   Probably.   Did you read them the ‘Dating Rights’ questions?   Going out on a limb here with probably not.   Why would you?

Dylan Song For 2018 Mid-Term Elections

Come senators, congressmen Please heed the call Don’t stand in the doorway Don’t block up the hall For he that gets hurt Will be he who has stalled There’s a battle outside And it is ragin’. It’ll soon shake your windows And rattle your walls For the times they are a-changin’.  

Life Long Learners Get Life Lesson Whether They Learn Or Not

Life Lessons start early for writers, then they spend years figuring it out enough to make a joke, a poem, a short story, novella, novel. Maybe more, like a groundbreaking memoir. If it’s worth learning, it’s worth writing about to drill it in. Like most children of my generation, baby boomers, I had it made […]

How Older Men Express Themselves When No One Is Around To Call BS

  I knew older men who’d been everywhere, done everything, and could drive any car ever invented.   They’d had every job from sales executive to mailman, to factory worker, to fighter pilot in three wars. Sometimes it was true.   One of them said he was shot down and imprisoned on a Japanese held […]

Today Is A Special Day For Someone, What’s Your Day Like

  Coaches have had a grand time reminding their athletes that, “There’s someone somewhere training just as hard as you. Time to step it up.”   They say this right after you’ve had a special day of success so you won’t let it go to your head too fast.   Or, “Someone is training harder […]