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DOCTOR VISIT SOLUTION

A man goes to a doctor visit with his wife. He gets checked out and the doctor says, “That’s it. Just leave a urine sample, semen sample, and a stool sample.” The wife says, “We haven’t got time for that. Just leave your underwear.” Follow me for more time saving advice.

DRUG ADVERTISING BUG GET YOU?

Drug advertising comes on all of the time now, a persistent flow of ‘you’ll feel better if you take our pill.’ One second you’re watching the Oregon Ducks closing out the Iowa Hawkeyes at the 70,000 seat Kinnick Stadium, named after Heisman Trophy winner Nile Kinnick, and the next you’re watching a lovely family picnic […]

LOVE MAP FOR MEN AND WOMEN

Is there such a thing as a ‘love map?’ Let’s find out together, starting with, “Yes, there is such a thing, and it’s purely scientific.” Now that all of you nerds are on board with science, let’s go. This could be a picture of Anywhere, USA.

FOOD PREP MARATHON: BIRTHDAY BRUNCH

My food prep marathon lasted three days. The images here come from a tasty night in LA to set the mood. I’ve had other cooking marathons, but this one combines a few of them. It began with the idea of hosting a breakfast brunch. Hmmmm ? ? ?

FANCY PARTY, OR JUST ANOTHER DAY?

I’ve been to a fancy party. One. And it was fine. It was also enough. The purpose was to mingle museum staff with board members. The place was a twelve thousand square foot home in Portland’s West Hills. It was a beauty and worth dressing up for. I wore my nice jacket.

LOVE LETTER TO READERS AND SUBSCRIBERS

Who remembers the first love letter you wrote? Did you send it? Either way, it’s all about the intent. You were moved to express your feelings. I don’t know about you, but I remember my first.

ANOTHER TIME, ANOTHER PLACE

Part of the job in writing a blog like boomerpdx is reading The New Yorker. That’s where I found The Fifties by Monica Ferrell. She’s got a website loaded up with the works. The works?

WILDFIRE SEASON TO STORM SEASON?

Wildfire season? Storm season? Someone has an itchy panic button finger. There’s nothing wrong with summer, fall, winter, and spring, but those names don’t carry the same impact anymore. When asphalt gets tacky? Summer. Leaves drop off trees? Fall. Chilly? Winter. Warming up? Spring. Follow me for more weather updates and observations on today’s tricky […]

TIME MACHINE, OR ’66 CORVETTE

The usual time machine in movies is a box you walk into in one era and walk out of in another. It’s some kind of portal used to go back and fix something. Things go wrong when the fix starts a domino effect that changes everything else, so you have to go back for a […]

EMPTY HANDS IN THE GETTY

The empty hands in the Getty Museum, or Getty Center, caught my eye more than the hands with cigarettes. Can’t you see a coffin nail, maybe a Phillip Morris Commander, in this guy’s hand, tipping ashes into the skull? The artist sees the whole picture and paints it; visitors see modern interpretations. I see a […]