LIVING LIFE AND LISTENING

Listening, being a good listener, is an important part of living life the way it should be lived.

Take it from me, a serial interrupter who has changed his ways.

I’ve changed my ways, and you should too.

What’s that you say?

Some people can keep up their end of the conversation by looping back to the origins no matter how far they looped out.

Others can’t track as well and feel a little put out by clarification questions, or anything that pops up until they’re done.

And that’s cool.

All they need to do is say, “I’m not finished,” to claim their time.

What they don’t need to do is apologize for interrupting the interruption.

If you need to have your say to a quiet audience, tell them.

If that doesn’t work, tell them again. “Can you please be quiet.”

Just because it’s never worked for me, because I can quiet down just fine, and it’s not a resentful ‘don’t tell me what to do’ kind of quieting down, still give it a shot.

When you’re living life in a small space, like a car on a trip, try not to dominate the space with your on-point observations and witty asides.

And don’t go mute after the other person decides their talk time is over.

Do that and they think they crushed your free spirited ways and they’ll spend the rest of the day apologizing.

Who does that?

 

The Quiet Marriage

My wife and I compare marriages, our marriage, to our parents.

She says her parents ‘bickered,’ as if that’s a badge of honor.

 

Bickering means to have a petty, noisy, and repeated argument about things that do not matter. It usually happens between people who know each other well, like family members, friends, or couples.

 

Me: My parents didn’t bicker.

Wife: They got divorced, instead.

Me: And your dad had a heart attack.

Wife: They didn’t get divorced.

Me: They kind of did.

 

We know single women who have a different lifestyle. Namely, they don’t have husbands.

There might be some man around, but not anyone resembling a husband and father, more a place-holder.

During their visits I am acutely aware of the differences.

Some women have drawn the line for spending time with ‘project’ people.

You either meet them on their side, or they shut down.

Or maybe I shut down? Somebody shuts down when someone can’t shut up.

So why not quiet down and listen to their way of living life?

It won’t kill you.

 

If You’re A Non-Stop Babbler

If that’s you, a non-stop babbler, you need to write a blog for therapy.

Or get a dog.

A dog, the right dog, will love the sound of your voice no matter what you’re saying.

Feed them, pet them, take them for walks, and yak it up.

You know something’s not right when even the dog draws a line and gives you a look, a familiar look, a look that says, ‘Human, please.’

When your dog avoids you, you’re not living life to the fullest.

If you’re a deadbeat dad, or absentee husband, you deserve the dog you get.

The dog acts like the kids you ran off on? And you’re surprised?

Find a way to adjust your frequency, your volume, and learn to listen.

Do that and you might help someone find their way out of their problems.

Do that instead of adding to them.

 

PS:

Your goal is waiting to hear someone ask your wife, “Who’s the quiet guy?”

 

PSS:

Be a presence that adds energy to the room, not sucking the air out until everyone is gasping.

Start by earning your dog’s approval.