GROWING UP NEVER STOPS

Remember the promise about growing up?

“You’ll understand when you grow up.”

“Things will be different when you grow up.”

Now that you’re all grown up, how’s it going?

I’ve been growing up since the mid-50’s, which seems like a long, long, time ago in a place far, far, away.

Five years old in 1960 and ready to fly my freak flag? Nooo.

Fifteen years old in 1970 and ready to fly the coop? Noooo.

By 1980 I’d been across the country a few times.

One was a ride-share from Eugene, Oregon to Pittsburgh.

Two years later I came back on a Greyhound bus from Manhattan’s westside, changed to Trailways in Utah, and got off in Old Town Portland.

Another time I hopped across the country from Portland, to Texas, to New Jersey.

Two years later I came back on a plane out of Philadelphia.

With all of that behind me things started settling down.

How settled?

By 1990 I got married and moved to the suburbs and raised a family with my wife, who is a fan of travel.

Together we’ve seen where she grew up, where I grew up, and she’d like to visit other places I’ve lived.

The problem is I lived in places that made me wonder about safety.

I navigated the neighborhoods, but I didn’t have anyone else to worry about.

Does growing up include worries about others?

 

All Of This Will Be Yours 

The dad showed his son his kingdom from the window.

“All of this will be yours.”

The kid takes a look and says, “What? The curtains?”

How many times did our parents make the same promise of, “all this will be yours?”

I could count how many times I heard it with my hands behind my back.

Did I expect anything? Nooo, not with brothers and sisters.

With everyone growing up we were happy to have a good start.

Call me curious, but I wondered how other people lived, so I found out.

 

This Isn’t A Test

If you read this and think it’s funny, it is.

Read it again and think how it would all work with a wife, or husband.

Now add kids.

I was broke, working broke, and paid my bills, no car, wore the same clean clothes until they wore out, lived in the cheapest apartments of my life, and worked a few manual jobs from saw mill, to fishery, to hod-carrier while I was growing up.

Then I got married and got a second opinion on my progress.

Our kids added their opinions, too.

They married smart partners who now add their opinions.

No one is short on ideas for making things better.

As a parent, a baby boomer parent with middle-aged kids, I might be a problem.

On one hand I’ve done more with my kids than I remember my parents doing with me.

But they had twice as many kids, so there’s that.

On the other hand, wife and I are boomers who carry that stigma, the one where younger generations have all of the answers.

We’re not perfect, never aimed for perfection, but still proud to call the kids some of the best people we’ve ever met.

Even on a less than perfect day, the kids are all right.

I asked them once who they’d rather have as a dad than me. They said Michael Jordan.

Solid choice. At least it wasn’t one of their friends’ dad.

With their answer, I’ve never asked my wife who she’d rather have as a husband than me.

I’d be suspicious if she said Michael Jordan, too.

 

OD, Or ‘Over David’

Now and then, as time passes, situations take an unexpected turn.

It might be me running my mouth, or someone else running theirs.

My default setting is letting things calm down, especially if I’m the problem.

How long does that take, and what if it takes too long?

My dad had a plan for my sister when she got older.

It didn’t turn out the way he’d planned because he didn’t live long enough to make it happen.

He planned on spending more time with her as an adult, after she was done growing up.

But we never stop growing, just stop living with the promise.

That was an important message to me, one I took seriously.

 

 

If you make promises, keep them.

 

PS:

I took an oath of service when I joined the Army on my own volition.

I made a vow when I married my #1.

And I have a code I try and live by. It’s called the Golden Rule.

 

PSS:

At any point in life, starting out or winding down, check your progress with your husband or wife.

Who would know better?