FANCY PARTY, OR JUST ANOTHER DAY?

I’ve been to a fancy party. One. And it was fine.

It was also enough.

The purpose was to mingle museum staff with board members.

The place was a twelve thousand square foot home in Portland’s West Hills.

It was a beauty and worth dressing up for. I wore my nice jacket.

I added to the beauty of the event by bringing not one, but two, stunning redheads.

The board president solidified my view of the ladies by engaging in small talk, which sounded like a pitch.

He told them who he was, what he did, and his plans for the near future.

I watched him and thought, ‘Is this guy hustling my babes right in front of me?’

After he refocused and found women his own age, like his fellow board members wives, I asked, “Was this guy hustling you?”

Them: Not really. He was just being nice.

Me: Too nice?

Them: It’s a party, David. You could be nice too.

Me: Nice? Not after I’ve seen other girls swept away with nice. I had a nice guy in high school say nice things about my girlfriend. How nice? She dumped me and they ended up getting married. It started with the nice.

Them: Go ahead and grow up. We’re not marrying anyone here and the guy was older than my dad.

Me: You never know with these swinging d#cks walking around testing the water.

Them: Swinging ducks?

Me: You ever heard of the @@@@ Club downtown?

Them: Is it for swinging ducks?

Me: A member told me about others with room privileges.

Them: Whatever that means.

Me: That’s what I said. He explained how they arranged for women to meet out of town big shots.

Them: Hookers? That surprises you?

Me: He said they were also the young wives of guys climbing the corporate ladder, or women in the office doing the same.

Them: Ewwwww.

Me: The bosses would call home and tell their little ladies they were staying late at the office.

Them: Is it a nice club?

Me: You could find out and tell me.

 

Party On

Everyone wore nice clothes at the fancy party.

Looking back it may have been a screening to see who could navigate the room.

Maybe that’s why the mingling was so intense?

People walked by with trays of food and drinks to snag.

Some of the guests looked like they were at the prom.

Eventually groups separated around the room, the old guys, the young guys, the old ladies, the young ladies.

Everyone had their sparkle on with a sharp eye peeled, but for what?

It’s one of those things where if you don’t know, you’re not a part of it.

My girls were a part.

After the first guy came around, another followed, then the next, then another, and another, like a mixer.

Girls: You look like you’re guarding us. Relax. Get out there and mix.

There’s an unspoken rule, or I’m making it up, but if you show up with the best looking women you don’t need to mix.

That was probably my career peak?

How to behave in a business casual setting with sharks circling: kick ’em.

 

The Money Part

When you are a member of a board for a non-profit, according to a resident expert, the job comes in three parts:

Give money, get money, or get out.

In scenes replayed across America, from small town projects to plans of mammoth proportions, rich people invite rich people to share their wealth.

And that’s all fine and good. The rich are different, after all.

I like seeing fancy people at a fancy party as much as the next guy, even if I don’t realize the goals.

Maybe if I was a rich guy I would?

Fund raisers don’t bother with the likes of me.

Ask any contributor to anything how many requests they get to contribute more?

There’s never enough money to go around, but we know how some folk who could make a difference if they wanted to like to spend their wad.

They buy rockets, buy islands, buy big boats, buy social media platforms, among other acquisitions.

They rent towns to get married.

I like seeing rich guys having the time of their lives.

Hopefully they are worthy people, people with a conscious, people with the ‘caring’ bone.

Too often they show the other bone, the one they use to stick it to the workers, the critics, or anyone they think is in their way.

We used to never see their party shenanigans.

It’s sad to see masters of the universe sucking up to fancy men at a fancy parties.

That it’s nothing new isn’t helpful.