DON’T TALK BACK TO WHO?

When someone says, “Don’t talk back to me,” what’s your first impulse?

Give them some back talk, or shut up.

You already know what they want.

What about you?

When a full vetted, accredited, historical scholar makes a statement of purpose, it’s not back talk.

When they get criticized unfairly, their job is to help straighten things out, to speak up, to talk back.

Baby boomers have had this going on their whole lives.

We had the traditional, ‘when you get older you’ll understand.’

Along with, ‘wait your turn,’ it’s been a generation of ‘what the hell?’

 

When I was twelve I secretly bought a switchblade knife.

It was nothing fancy, just a blade that swung into place at the touch of a button, a cheap knife for the short run.

My run with it was very short when my mom found it and confiscated it ‘until I got older.’

I think I was thirty-five when she decided I was old enough.

Sure, I could have bought another one, but I’m not a general fan of the blade, just that one.

Like every good son, I wanted to show my mom how silly she’d been to think I’d get in trouble with a knife.

I’m not a knife man, not much of a weapons guy, so I steer clear of any trouble that looks like it may need a knife or gun to solve.

 

Get Even With Your Mother? Noooo

One of her biggest questions as a young mother of two was whether or not her husband, a Marine Corps sergeant, had volunteered or been ordered to go to sea when she needed him at home in their Quonset hut.

After I got my switchblade back I made it my life’s goal to find the answer.

And I did.

After they got divorced and remarried I sat with my dad and talked about bonding with the new kids his wife was adding to the mix.

I was already out on my own, but I wanted him to know he should spend time with the new kids in their twenties and his old kids would be okay.

I was setting the old man up for my big question.

 

Me: I talked to mom.

Dad: How’s she doing.

Me: Seems good, but she’s got a nagging question that keeps coming up.

Dad: What is it?

Me: She wants to know if you volunteered for sea duty, or got orders, after I was born.

Dad: Yes, that’s nagged her. I had a chance to go to sea, and I’d always wanted to, so when the opportunity came up I took it.

 

Understanding Comes With Age

When my mom took my knife I waited.

And waited and waited and waited some more.

All fair and good.

She didn’t feel the same way when I told I’d learned the answer to the Marine Goes To Sea question.

 

Me: I talked to dad and he told me about his decision to go to sea when we were babies.

Mom: Did he volunteer or get orders?

Me: Mom, we veterans have a duty to serve, and a duty to the men we serve with.

Mom: What?

Me: We also have a duty to our families.

Mom: Did he volunteer or get orders.

Me: Mom, I know it’s important and you really want to know. You need to know.

Mom: I’d like to know.

Me: And I’d like to tell you. When you’re old enough.

 

PS:

Be respectful, but make your point.

 

PSS:

Know the right time for a big reveal.