RETIREMENT WARNINGS FOR BOOMERS IN THE FAST LANE

You’re in the fast lane and know it when you pull up on a Waymo car.

 

Waymo has named the Rose City as one of the next locations welcoming its own fleet of self-driving vehicles.

As part of the announcement, the company revealed it will start manually operating the cars on Tuesday to “help familiarize the Waymo Driver with Portland’s distinct streetscapes — from its iconic bridges to its bustling, rain-slicked corridors.”

 

I saw this rig in town and thought, ‘The future has arrived.’

Who is ready for the future? Baby boomers are ready.

Sort of?

Look around and you see a lot of boomers in the retirement window.

And like the stereotype of longhaired hippies and hellions and acid dropping freaks of the past, there’s a stereotype of the balding buttoned-down, conservative, pillars of the community old people today.

It’s always a shock to learn that one person fits both roles, but here we are.

If that’s a shock, it should be no shock that there’s a list of What Not To Do with the title of ’36 Worst Retirement Hobbies That Ruined Retirees’ Live’ blah, blah, blah.

For the sake of extended engagement for the online metric that counts, the list starts at #36.

The beauty of blogging?

Let’s start at #1.

 

Pet Adoption

A picture shows an old lady on the ground playing tug-a-rope with a big dog. Where does this eventually go?

Yeah, I don’t know either, but I did see a young woman walking two dogs trip and get dragged behind them longer than she should have.

I call it the Cook Park Iditarod. She was the winner.

Do you like dogs?

Yes you do, so watch a purebred dog show, an agility dog show where the mutts dominate the purebreds, or go to a dog park with a walking path and take a few laps, pet a few dogs.

It’s a win-win without the whining part about being sooooo lonely. Think how lonely you’ll be in the hospital for surgery to fix your neck after getting snapped down and hitting your head.

And no, my big, lungey dog, isn’t a retirement dog. Just a dog.

 

Worst Retirement Hobby #2: Skiing

Paying to go up a snowy mountain with sticks on your feet and spears in your hands should be the first red flag.

But you did it as a kid in your twenties and thirties and remember the fun, the freedom, the speed.

Let’s review: You’re not a kid.

Savor the memories instead of getting bashed in the head and knocked stupid by a reckless snowboarder, and they’re all reckless.

But you’re strong, strong enough to stand and bend down to tighten a ski boot when you hear a sound and feel something give way in your leg.

You’re still strong after the screws and pins and rods and bolts are installed in your leg, still strong during the rehab after getting it all removed two years later. (Hey Cheryl)

The closest I’ve come to downhill skiing is telemarking on cross country skis and peppermint schnapps.

I wasn’t strong, just buzzed.

 

#3: Classic Cars

Like a Waymo car on Hwy 99 announcing the future, classic cars stir something deeper.

I remember classic cars when they were new, and the thought of owning one then, or now, never crossed my mind.

But, if it was a family car still in the family and it needed a home or else get sold?

And it looks like a super hero car? Do you know the one? It’s a 1965 Buick Riviera, a car we made from model kits, heated them in the oven, and staged realistic crashes.

If you can save the family car, you should. Then let your kids be the final word.

When I see a Corvette in the Safeway parking lot I take a moment to genuflect. (Hey Ray)

Same goes for an 1958 Oldsmobile 98 in the library parking lot.

The beauty of classic cars is seeing them in the wild and how they contrast with current models.

Today we need, need, need an AWD SUV with HUD, a 31 mpg hybrid engine, heated steering wheel, and AC in the seats.

Back then it was a hunk of smooth Detroit steel, an 8 mpg engine that ran on Ethel, and seats big enough to fit four in the front and five in the back.

Yes, just thinking about it takes me back . . .

 

 

Not this far back.

 

 

After seeing the Waymo on the road, this guy came along a few days later.

Does it do anything for you?

For me it represents the early days of the automobile when barn yard tinkerers strapped a pump engine to a wagon and figured how to hook it up and drive.

 

 

Bike mechanics rule. The Wright Brothers of airplane fame were bike guys.

Bikes were first before cars and powered flight.

 

 

PS:

This is me in first place in the retirement warnings race.

PSS:

Are those reverse lights on? Hey, HEY, I’m riding here.

Life in the fast lane is exhausting.