Travel Bans From History, Who Should Be Banned

 

 

Travel bans tend to be specific in terms of where to go and where not to go.

 

Travel bans say one thing: Don’t go there, girlfriend. Stay away, pal.

 

Like a dress code in the NY disco dancing prime time of the late ’70’s, while punk rock was getting ready to spit on their loving audience, anything could be in violation of the doorman didn’t want to let you in.

 

The disco pro had it all covered. If it’s not your hair it’s your glasses or your shirt and “maybe you want to go back home to New Jersey and find another one, or even stay there.”

And,

 

“The lady comes in, not the gentleman. What is this pal, a costume party and you’re coming as a guy from Queens? Go back to Bayside and put on something worthy of your fine, fine, woman.”

 

Travel bans and disco bans work alike, and don’t kid yourself if you think there’s no shame. Being from a banned country may be worse than being banned from ‘The Club’, but not when your date goes in without you.

 

Disco boss might not like your shoes. Jimmy Buffett tells a story about getting banned because of his shoes where he got stomped by the real Buford Pusser of Walking Tall fame, all six foot six of Pusser.

 

Travel bans might cut the next Einstein. Or the next Pusser. That’s a bounce we don’t want to miss.

 

If world history had been as current as we know it today, imagine the travel bans that changed our world.

 

Forget the Oregon Trail. The western tribes heard about settlers from the eastern tribes.

 

“White settlers are bad neighbors and too acquisitional. Travel bans will save native society one homestead at a time. Pioneers may pass through but they need to be out by sundown.”

 

No Lewis and Clark Journey of Discovery after Jefferson received this message from the mountain west:

 

“We’ve put up with your stinking trappers and their trash long enough. You are banned from the west until we clean up their nasty mess.”

 

To Columbus from the New World:

 

“We don’t appreciate this New World tag, Chris. The only new world you’re going to find is the one after ours. You. Are. Banned. And keep your filthy diseases to yourself.”

 

No Leif Erikson. To the acknowledged First European On The North American Continent from the First People:

 

“It’s good to be first, Leif, and since we were here first, you can just stay home. You’ve been banned for travel anywhere. Stay home and work it out with your big wives. Keep that viking deal away from us. It won’t turn out well in Minnesota, either.”

 

The only travel bans worth talking about are shared regional bans. Oregon didn’t ban californicators, appleknockers, or spudheads. I didn’t ban all New Yorkers after I bussed from Brooklyn to Portland.

 

That’s not how it works.

 

We might like the idea of travel bans, but where do they stop? Hard hitting bloggers need to know.

 

Don’t ban me from the corner in Winslow, Arizona.

Don’t ban me from Breitenbush.

Don’t ban me from the Floyd Country Store during a Sunday jam.

 

It’s probably clear to everyone but a few, so I’ll guess that accepting the idea of travel bans is the gateway to accepting other bans, like medical bans, prescription drug bans, health insurance bans, free choice bans. You know, the usual suspects.