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‘SECURITY THREAT ASSESSMENT (STA)?’ I’LL HANDLE THIS ONE

When an agency sends an email about a security threat assessment that is ‘underway’, I feel sort of special, but I can save a load of time if it includes scanning the internet for clues.
In this photo I’m a threat to all decent hotel bellhops.
Jed Clampet don’t need no bellhop. Git away from my travel sacks.
Hotel luggage cart threat?

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MODERN RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE

Running for your life used to be pretty simple.
There’s something that might kill you if it gets close enough.
And it’s a surprise, a big surprise.
No one needs to tell you what to do:
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PDX WOOD A WELCOME SIGHT

Call it PDX wood, Portland wood, Oregon wood.
Or call it what it is, Douglas Fir from the Cow Creek Band of the Umpqua.
And call it a nice wall.
It’s nice in a way, but unfinished looking.
Your call:

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PORTLAND TRAVEL NOTES: THE BOOKENDS

This is the flat spot in the river bank where people used to take a break.
Whether coming up from the Columbia River, or down on the Willamette, this was the original rest stop for paddlers.
Then it grew, grew some more, and for those of us who’ve traded punches on her streets, it’s all grown up.
And it has bookends on the part people think of when they hear the word ‘Portland.’

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MISTAKEN IDENTITY? MAYBE NOT

It could be a case of mistaken identity if you’re in an outfit led by a naked lady and winged horse all clad in gold.
Where’s the plan? What’s the goal? Is it safe?
No one gives a good answer.
Where’s your plan, what’s the goal, is it safe?
If the plan is to paint yourself gold and get a winged horse you might want to take another look.
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toughen up

WEAPONS FOR HOME DEFENSE: WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

    Home defense begins in the home, but you knew that. The real question of weapons and home defense starts with location, location, location.   I met a Portland man who bought a former crack house. Customers who didn’t get the press report on the crack wire crawled through his windows for a year. […]

THERAPEUTIC SWEARING, MEDICAL MARIJUANA, CANCER

      Swearing, done in the right spirit, communicates so much more than long, drawn out, explanations. Besides, how often do you need the long version? I’ve investigated both swearing and medical marijuana and come to a few helpful conclusions for cancer patients. Instead of getting all macho and shocker, I’ve amended my profanity […]

CDC SAYS OPIOIDS SHOULDN’T BE FIRST CHOICE? THAT HURTS.

Pain relief moves from legal heroin to physical therapy, exercise, and over the counter pills? Who knew? I wrote a post about an author’s reading called BLACK TAR HEROIN, SAM QUINONES, AND DREAMLAND. Sam Quinones showed up in Powell’s City of Books and talked about pill mills supplying zombie customers with their opioid prescriptions; about […]

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boomer years

BABY BOOMER ANTHEM UPDATE

Talkin’ ‘Bout Our Regeneration Baby Boomer Anthem. Let’s get it straight from the start. If you’re reading this you probably didn’t die before you got old. I know, it’s a big surprise. Especially for you big party dogs. By now you know to avoid white flour, white powder, and white lightning in excess. You’ve learned […]

MESSAGE TO AGING MILLENNIALS: STAND TOGETHER

Eventually you figure out where you stand. How does that work? Look around. You’re not standing alone. Even when if feels like no one notices, they do. What they notice is context, where you are, and the nearest identifier. The biggest thing is if they decide to join you. You might call it selfish to […]

PROPERTY OWNER FROM THE OTHER SIDE

    What to expect from the property owner process that never ends, changes in the middle, and no light the end of the property owner tunnel to hell.   From behind the seductive eyes of a city’s economic development officer:   I see the likes of you come in here all day, every day. […]

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buckle up

Walking Portland Memory Lane One Alley At A Time

As much as you hear about people moving to Portland, loving Portland once they get here, it’ll never be their home until they’re walking Portland on memory lane.   Like, “This is where I used to play basketball, where I got beat by a five foot six opponent,” didn’t ring up the oooos and ahs […]

MESA ARIZONA, CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

Where are you right now? Do you wish you were somewhere else? Instead of working on the wish list of where you’d rather be, take a good look around. You may be in the center of the universe, like Mesa Arizona.

BOOMER STREET

    Baby boomer gets the message. We’ve heard the message all of our lives. It goes like this:   Move over little dog, the big old dog is moving in.   We were once the little dog and moved over for those who knew better. We did what we were told. The idea is […]

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