DOG OWNER APOLOGY LONG TIME COMING

Like so many others with a heart that beats regularly, I’ve been around dogs most of my life, at leas the parts I’ve shared with others.

My childhood dog was actually my children’s childhood dog since my childhood dog didn’t stick around long enough for the proverbial ‘dog bond.’

Rusty wasn’t a good fit with three little boys and parents who worked. And he bit everyone in the neighborhood his first day. He was a small dog, so they were small bites, but small bites on small kids look pretty big.

By the second day he’d found a new home. That left my childhood neighborhood with few dogs to relate to.

The family on the corner had a dog named Pepper that looked like it had been rescued from a sewer pipe. It was never off the chain, which was long enough for Pepper to run to the edge of the yard and scare the crap out of anyone not paying attention.

You’ve heard people talk about the twitch they still get when they hear chains rattle? We called it the ‘Pepper rattle’ when that old dog made it’s usual run.

The junkyard on Broadway had its own Pepper dog, a real junkyard dog with a bark that made you feel the bite that never came because of the chain.

Junkyard Pepper waited until the last second to leap toward the sidewalk from its hiding place near the front gate. The trick was walking with a new kid and distracting them until just before the leap, then bracing them.

It was like pretending to push someone off a cliff, except it was teeth and dog slobber instead of a fall.

Best Dog Award

My wife got a call from a friend living outside of Portland. Someone had dropped a dog off on their land, the old country way of dealing with unwanted pets: take them far enough away to ease the memory of you being a pet jerk.

Did we want a dog? I said no, wife told friend, done deal. Except when her friend called to say she’d found a new home for the dog I complained about not getting a chance to meet the dog.

“It sounded like the perfect dog for us,” I lied.

Then the people who adopted the dog returned it saying they chained it up outside overnight and it barked too much. The scene created a picture of Pepper in my mind.

And that’s how Lucky started her decade of love with her new family.

She made being a dog owner an honor for the way she bonded with two little boys and their mom. She made me proud. I joined the pack.

Next Dog Owner Up

Just as each dog is different, each dog owner is different. A pit bull owner is different than a poodle dog owner.

We kept Lucky as long as we could and mourned her passing.

One day it was too much and we voted for a new dog.

The new dog was literally a junk yard dog rescue and we were the third owners. It didn’t go well and lasted slightly longer than Rusty.

Life took a few turns, as it always does, and the next dog up was for the house, but mostly for my ailing father in law who had had Great Danes.

The dog we found was a miniature dachshund, and she was a perfect match. Very docile and vicious at the same time. Cuddly and lethal.

How lethal? Wife found a snake in our yard, and like Mother Nature herself she saved the snake by picking it up and putting it in the flower beds. My oldest son was in the yard, too.

The only problem was the dog saw the snake and wanted to play, so it jumped into the flowerbed, found the snake, brought it out into the front yard and gave it the death spin by whipping it back and forth.

My kid was standing nearby and got snake whipped, which started him doing some sort of snake dance.

The dog was in a frenzy and wouldn’t drop the snake, but we saved it somehow.

Dog Owner Heaven

My sweet little dachshund was sleeping once when my wife nudged her with her toe. Daisy ‘sleep chomped’ her big toe and wouldn’t let go. It was real bulldog style.

I laughed myself to nearly dry heaves watching my wife hop around and yelling and swinging a little dog attached to her foot.

Dog and I shared the dog house for a while after that. I liked the idea of the dog and I on the same side.

Sixteen years later time did what time does and Daisy joined the march we’re all on.

She died while I held her. We were in the parking lot outside the vet office. Once inside, they determined she had no heartbeat, and told us they were administering dog CPR. We called a halt and they said they’d euthanize my dog, which was a little confusing.

Months later I think of her when I find traces she left behind. Sweet memories replace the anxiety of being a bad pet owner because I complained about a few things when I stepped in the wrong place.

A dog owner apology needs to include balancing the goodness of love against the carpet, the rug, the yard, the doorstep, the dog dentist, and the rest.

Remembering how Daisy turned every kid and adult into a dog lover is the lasting picture, not the rest.

The Hardest Part For A Dog Owner

I’ve made peace with Daisy, but there’s something more bothering me.

Petco keeps sending me emails, like four a day, and it gets wearing.

I’ve mentioned this in the store, and how to get off the list.

Any ideas?

Here’s my girls.