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PASS THE HALF ASS, PLEASE?

February 12, 2016 by

The Math: 1/2 Ass + 1/2 Ass = 0. Or, > half ass. You’re thinking two halves equal a whole. Most of the time that’s true. In this equation it’s also true, but with extras: In an unprecedented alpha-numeric formula worthy of Einstein-level research, two half-asses equal a whole. An a-hole. In our regular lives […]

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STREET FIGHTING MAN, OR PUSH OVER

February 6, 2016 by

Breaking up a street fight doesn’t take a street fighting man. My reward for breaking up a street fight was a punch in the face. Street fighting is a personal thing, apparently one you shouldn’t interfere with. Except when it’s in your neighborhood. And it’s a man beating a woman. Then it gets personal. City […]

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A PERSONAL BEST FROM PORTLAND’S CINEMA 21

February 5, 2016 by

  From Personal Best on the screen to personal best on the street.   NW Portland had a few more movie theaters when I moved there. One more. The Esquire on 23rd closed in 1987. Cinema 21 is the last silver screen standing. That’s where I saw Eraser Head with a date who said the […]

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HOW NEW SUITS EMPOWER MEN

January 25, 2016 by

It is true? Do new suits empower men? I felt like all empowered men the moment I walked into the custom clothing store. “These are fabric samples,” started just inside the front door. “Sharkskin? From real sharks?” I asked. From the start they knew they had their man. “No, not real sharks, but doesn’t it […]

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THE AMERICAN JOB? BE A GOOD CITIZEN

January 21, 2016 by

The American job comes with a Mission Statement, Code of Conduct, and Job Description. Talk to people who came to America after WWII and hear their citizenship story. They came from bombed out nations to find a new life. They came for the American job and learned the job of being an American along the […]

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7 WAYS TO JOIN A MILITIA THAT MATTERS

January 18, 2016 by

Join a militia expecting things to go right? Then join the right militia. First, look in the mirror. Take a good, long, look. Do you see an eighteen year old? Nineteen or twenty? Or do you see a forty or fifty year old? Maybe sixty? Either way, ask yourself if you really want to join […]

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CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE AND NURSING HOME RESCUE: HOW TO GET A ‘RELEASE’

January 14, 2016 by

It started out well, then turned into a nursing home rescue. If you’re married, chances are good you have in-laws. Maybe a mother-in-law, a father-in-law, or both. If you like one better than the other, don’t hold it against yourself. They probably like their kid better than you, so it breaks even. In long-term marriages […]

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KING OF THE HILL IN NORTH BEND, OREGON

January 9, 2016 by

People know the place when you say you’re from North Bend. Ask someone where there from and you expect one answer, one place. Then you get this: “I grew up all over the place.” Hear that and know you’ve got someone ashamed of where they’re from. They know the name of their town, they just […]

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BOOMERPDX HOLIDAY SAFETY TIPS

December 26, 2015 by

From Christmas to New Years use these BoomerPDX holiday safety tips. 1 – The top image shows big wood in the shape of five quarter oak, 5/4, the stuff used for staircases. About eight inches tall and forty five inches wide, it’s the perfect material for carving your name and hanging it inside or out. […]

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BINGE EATING FOR THE HOLIDAYS

December 21, 2015 by

Does anything say welcome home more than binge eating? One of life’s hard lessons is learning what is offensive to others when you’re not offended. For instance, someone invites you over and offers a cookie. A careful eater keeping close tabs on their diet and calories says, “No thank you.” They said no to the […]

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