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OLD STANDARDS UNDER STRAIN? HOLD MY BEER

February 21, 2026 by

Old standards are only for old people. Wrong. What’s wrong is the idea of standards, which I’ll clear up right now in case there’s any doubt: The Standard is the standard, no matter the age, young, or old. Got it? Good. So what exactly is The Standard?

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PASS THE HALF ASS, PLEASE?

February 12, 2016 by

The Math: 1/2 Ass + 1/2 Ass = 0. Or, > half ass. You’re thinking two halves equal a whole. Most of the time that’s true. In this equation it’s also true, but with extras: In an unprecedented alpha-numeric formula worthy of Einstein-level research, two half-asses equal a whole. An a-hole. In our regular lives […]

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