CALM SURRENDER LIFESTYLE, AND DOG TRAINING

The first I’d heard of ‘calm surrender’ came from a chemo clinic nurse.

I asked her what someone like me was supposed to do during cancer treatment.

She said surrender calmly.

I told her Gillaspie isn’t a French name.

Nurse Michel was not amused, but she was right.

The problem was weight loss. Too much weight lost too fast.

After I learned about cancer and cancer treatment, the chemo oncologist said I needed to beef up.

He said I needed to gain weight for the upcoming chemo marathon.

I’ve run a marathon and afterwards had a hard time walking up stairs.

There were no steps in the chemo clinic, so it must be another kind of marathon?

Whatever. I needed to gain weight is what I heard.

It was a time of freedom from overeating guilt. I was on doctor’s orders to pig out every chance I had.

I ate more, had seconds, went back for thirds.

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I also drank beer, which seemed like a good idea. Lots of beer of a particular brand.

If I was going to lose my sense of taste I wanted a good memory.

Once I started the treatment part, I did lose my sense of taste. Or more accurately, everything tasted dead.

Then I couldn’t swallow much due to neck radiation, so I had that going for me.

“You’re losing weight too quickly. If this continues we will have to suspend treatment.”

“Suspend treatment? What does that mean, exactly.”

“We won’t be able to treat you.”

“What happens to the cancer?”

I looked at the doctor. He looked at me.

In that moment I devised a plan.

It worked, but I don’t recommend it.

I began gaming the weigh-in.

It was the opposite of what I did during my competitive wrestling days to lose weight, which I don’t recommend either.

“Doctor, this is beer weight, not real weight. I’m dropping because I’m not drinking beer.”

“We don’t differentiate between weight and real weight, or beer weight. The numbers on the scale are what we follow.”

On treatment days I began getting up early to start sipping water, pulled on my heavy jeans, laced up my heavy shoes, wore a heavy shirt.

I made weight, hit the wall hard, rebounded, and made it through.

Four places I used to buy Becks stopped ordering if for their coolers after I stopped.

The local Safeway, Plaid Pantry, the Shell station, and Walnut Street market all stopped selling Becks.

Was I their best customer? Their only customer?

The Calm Surrender Lifestyle

Since the cancer cure I’ve been a calm customer.

I see things others miss, feel things others miss. I make up stuff to see and feel in case I’m missing something.

It reminds me of the Butch Cassidy line to the Sundance Kid:

“I’ve got vision while the rest of the world wears bi-focals.’

Since the cure I’ve been a better person, a better husband, father, now granddad, and a better brother.

I’ve learned to listen better, though the results are disputable.

Best of all, I’ve become a better writer, and it’s about time.

I’ve written about my trials and tribulations, since it’s a blog, along with reviewing some of the most heartfelt moments.

When you write a blog as long as I have it feels like an autobiography.

This Could Last Forever?

A calm surrender is linked to acceptance.

If you look at your life you have to accept the good with the bad.

That’s how it is, otherwise you take chunks of time out.

You did something good, then it all went wrong for so long and you did everything to make it worse?

That’s not just my story, however. Too many times some famous big shot starts honking their horn and before you know it they attract the wrong interest.

If you don’t want your affairs combed through, keep quiet.

For that I’m all good. Or maybe I’m just boring?

I’ve got a clean permanent record from kindergarten to now. No arrests, no hell hound on my trail.

Just your average high school grad, college dropout then grad.

Nothing special in my service record, no Article 15, no Section 8.

One wife, two kids, several dogs. Currently living with Super Dog.

Sixty-five pounds of ferociousness in a cute package right there.

Wife said we need something other than each other to nurture. We’re Baby Boomers, after all.

Nurture?

Turns out she needed to nurture me nurturing the dog by giving advice and instructions.

The dog and I have been to training. I said, “Honey, it would work better if we took dog training classes together.”

What I meant was we need to be on the same page with the dog.

So we’re getting some home training together

If that’s not calm surrender, what is?

What is your “Calm Surrender?”