BOOMMATES IS A THING?

‘Boommates’ is a new translation for roommates, which is kind of catchy.

But is it the new kind of new, or a recycle job, after all we did grow up with the Odd Couple.

The movie came out in 1968.

 

When fussy Felix (Jack Lemmon) becomes suicidal over his impending divorce, he accepts an offer to move in with his best friend, messy Oscar (Walter Matthau).

Felix drives Oscar crazy with his obsession over his soon-to-be ex. Oscar tries to get him out of his funk by arranging a double date with two wacky British neighbors, Cecily (Monica Evans) and Gwendolyn (Carole Shelley).

When the plan backfires and Felix grows even more despondent, his friendship with Oscar is put to the test.

 

How would that play out today?

I met an old divorced guy who said it took six years to get his ex-wive’s voice out of his head.

He was a crusty old bird sharing his life with a younger man, me, not that I asked.

But listening along I got a picture, an idea, of what his wife might have said to him.

Since he was a an unkempt smelly mess, she probably said something.

He whined and complained, and she probably said something.

For the blaming others for everything wrong in his life with no accountability, she probably said something.

Maybe she was the problem, but I don’t think so.

 

How To Select Boommates

I met a younger guy in the tap house where I occasionally stop to check on the rest of humanity, maybe forty.

I’d seen him before, talked to him, seemed like a decent guy.

 

Me: How’s it going?

Guy: Awful. I’m getting divorced and moving out tonight.

Me: Oh man, sorry to hear it. I’ve got to ask, was there another man?

Guy: Yes.

Me: Just as I suspected. Some rat-f with a good line swooping in on your wife.

Guy: Not her, me.

Me: You?

Guy: Me.

Me: Just as I suspected, a new beginning.

Why include sad divorce stories in a boommates post?

Because it’s all about the baggage, boomer. As if you don’t have any.

I don’t, but that’s just me.

When they were young I used to tell my kids how lucky they were to have the mom and dad they had, that they didn’t have to remember step-parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, half brothers and sisters, mixed family stuff.

Not that I haven’t had opportunities to stray from the marriage vows.

The young woman I rode the bus with invited me to get off at Barbur Transit so she could give me a ride the rest of the way, which included stopping for drinks?

She liked talking about her ex-boyfriends, which to the trained ear is trolling a married man.

I introduced her to the wife and kids when we pulled up at my house instead of getting out blocks away and walking in like I’d been on the bus.

Tip to ride-share: It’s only a ride, not an invitation for disaster.

She talked about her dudes and their weird junk, about her problem with weight gain in her breasts.

What did I say?

I told her guys were all a little weird, and she ought to share her diet with all of her friends.

What I didn’t say?

I didn’t say anything that sounded like ‘Tell me more.’

I’d already heard too much.

It lasted a few months. I told my wife all about it.

She thought the girl sounded lonely. I agreed.

She also said maybe I ought to get a car and stop riding the bus.

 

All Couples Are Odd Couples

One is neat, one is a slob. Both are divorced and need a place to stay.

That’s how fussy photographer Felix Unger and sloppy sportswriter Oscar Madison end up sharing a New York City apartment.

The arguments are endless but funny; it’s like watching your parents fight.

 

Watching parents fight?

Would two divorced guys learn their lesson, or would they talk the same shit that ended in divorce?

If they do, their friendship may be put to the test.

How would that work out with boommates, with boomer roomers?

 

These many years later things have changed in the world of boomer roomers.

Back then we were young with everything out in front of us whether we knew it or not.

You’ve heard of ‘old souls?’

Some guys are done by twenty, some by thirty, and they keep doing the same things that bring despair and disappointment and call it life.

They might be drunks, drug addicts, or weirdos, but keep it all under control until they’re your roommate.

Yikes.

They may have had bad divorces that haunt them, a passed spouse they mourn for, and deal with their feelings by dulling them down to the point you decide to help out.

 

What I’m sure of, and even more sure than usual with a wedding anniversary coming up, is you need to bring a load of understanding wherever you live and whoever you live with.

You’ve heard a story before? Be patient and listen to it again instead of pulling the ‘I’ve heard this to death’ rip cord.

It won’t kill you.

An old flame calls to say they’re coming through town and want to get together and catch up?

 

Me: It’s a bad idea.

Her: Your just jealous.

Me: I might be jealous, and I might worry about some dump of a guy from the past ruining all of the wonderful memories you had of the time together.

Her: That could never happen.

Me: But if it did end up rotting in regret, we’d have to do something, like talk it out. Do you know why we don’t have to talk out my regrets after meeting an old flame? Because I don’t make dates to meet them when they call.

Her: I’m sure you’re on speed dial with all the hot mommas. 

Me: Right. So you want to meet up with an old boyfriend? I’m looking forward to it. Where do we want to go?

 

Shared Housing

There are now a variety of services that help people find a Boommate.

HomeShare Online (formerly Silvernest) offers nationwide matching with free and paid tiers.

Nesterly finds graduate students in college towns willing to help with household chores for discounted rent.

An online search will probably turn up a home-sharing agency near you, often at no cost.

The National Shared Housing Resource Center lists about 50 nonprofits.

 

The question is what you would look for in a boommate, a boomer roomer?

Someone who picks up after themselves without reminders?

Who knows how to fix a broken toilet in the middle of the night?

Most of all, someone who adds life to the years, not drain it away.

Is that asking too much?