WINNING ARGUMENTS: THEN AND NOW

Winning arguments with strangers is one thing; winning the same argument with someone close comes with side-effects.

Someone close?

How close.

Let’s start with an internal argument, that little voice that won’t go away.

Can’t get any closer than that, huh?

Ordinarily we like positive self-talk.

It’s good for you, they say.

Be a good listener, they say.

But they’ve never put your pants on one leg at a time, walked in your shoes, or lived a second of your life.

Does it matter?

Not when you want to hear only what you want to hear from the start, and that’s never good.

So how to change the monologue from, “I’m the worst, I’m the bad apple, I’m the black sheep?”

Look, I’m a blogger, not a shrink. You don’t need an appointment to read my blog, no co-pay on boomerpdx.

But since we’re here . . .

 

Winning Arguments For The ‘A’ Student

For the A student a B- is a flunk.

A perfect academic record ruined for life, and for what?

You knew the assignment, knew the material, and had already had it half done when it was assigned because you felt like it was the normal progression in class.

Smart move. But what happened?

Who do you blame? The teacher, of course. It had to be the teacher because it couldn’t be you.

Besides, you could have taught the class better than they did.

What was the class topic? It doesn’t matter. Every class is the same, a challenge, a mountain to climb, and you’ve got just the right gear.

But, you got a B- and can’t tell anyone because you remember that one thing.

 

Holloway had desperately wanted her daughter Shanna to make the cheerleading squad and hoped that if her rival pom-pom waver Amber Heath’s mother Verna was killed, that she would be too distracted and distraught to try out for the squad at Alice Johnson Jr. High School.

 

If the teacher died maybe you’d have a chance to restore your perfect record with the sub?

Take this as a teaching moment for differences.

And punctuation.

There’s a big difference between ‘knowing your shit’ and ‘knowing you’re shit.’

Choose carefully the next time you look around for someone to blame.

About that new teacher? I’ve never been in a class where the substitute wasn’t a hard-ass to show their side of winning arguments for the sake of a better education. (Hey, Miss Gordon.)

 

How To Win Arguments The Calm Way

Let’s get this straight:

If things were calm it would be a discussion, not an argument.

And, like any argument, there are several ways to proceed, if that’s what you think is the best way forward.

A discussion of differences would be the best way forward, but sometimes, not often but sometimes, you let it out.

Instead of letting it out on the world, some customer-service rep, or partner, why not do something useful?

Am I suggesting actually doing something for someone else? Whoa, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves.

Do something useful for you, especially if it’s been over half an hour since you were last selfishly occupied.

Get that pedicure. Order that sushi. Lose those first three pounds. But do it for you.

 

This is where I tell a personal story of being useful:

1.

A neighbor dropped a big tree in his backyard.

That afternoon I helped him limb it and cut rounds.

His sassy wife said, “I’m glad we had something for you to do with your new toy.”

2.

An ex-friend complained about his hedge, his hedge, his overgrown hedge.

He hated that hedge growing halfway into his front yard.

I cut it for him for a surprise birthday present because that’s the kind of friend he had in me.

“Why did you do that? Now it’s so short I can see cars on the road.”

 

The moral of the chainsaw story?

I did something for someone else whether they liked it or not.

 

Losing The Final Winning Argument?

What is the last argument?

Us vs Mother Nature, and we alway lose.

 

Born a poor young country boy
Mother Nature’s son
All day long I’m sitting singing songs for everyone.

Sit beside a mountain stream
See her waters rise
Listen to the pretty sound of music as she flies.

Find me in my field of grass
Mother Nature’s son
Swaying daisies sing a lazy song beneath the sun.

 

You’ll find me in my field of grass among the swaying daisies?

Or, I’ll find you if we’re both lucky. So far I’ve been at two urn memorials.

I visited my Dad’s grave during watering time and got soaked and still didn’t find him.

I’ve got two more urns on my bookshelf I visit regularly.

The point here is not about the hide and seek of ghosts in the afterlife, but about living life while we’re here.

Surrender the notion of shoving everything up in the faces turned toward you because you’re too right and they’re too stupid to realize your greatness.

Instead, surrender to the best parts of life, the moment you feel memories happening, as in, ‘I’m going to remember this time forever.’

Take it Lady GaGa:

That Arizona sky burnin’ in your eyes
You look at me and, babe, I wanna catch on fire
It’s buried in my soul like California gold
You found the light in me that I couldn’t find

 

Remembering, and being remembered, are the best winning arguments.