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DOING MORE? MORE WHAT?

‘Doing more’ is the vibe hanging over me, maybe you too. ‘Make your time count.’ ‘Give your all.’ ‘Don’t waste your energy.’

LETTING IT FLY? WHERE ARE THE WINGS

‘Letting it fly’ is another way of saying, ‘Is that all you’ve got?’ One of my goals in life is not backing down to fear. Am I afraid of a famous tea room? Yes, but I let it fly. How did I get over this unreasonable fear? I had help.

WEIRD PEOPLE? LIKE WHO

  Weird people you know invite you over for a backyard barbecue. That’s the scene. What could go wrong? They pull this out: Hearts and Gizzards. Let the grilling begin.

BEST OF TIMES, WORST OF TIMES, THEN WHAT

After living through the best of times, there’s only one way to go. What’s better than the best? The correct answer is nothing, but that’s not the answer you’ll get from drunks and drug addicts. It’s hard to tell any time when you’re numbed to reality.

EXERCISING RIGHTS FOR BETTER LIVING

Exercising rights are a mental thing; also a physical thing. The mental part is realizing the benefits of the physical thing. How often has someone doubted the benefits of either? When they do cast doubt, they do it from a couch eating bonbons.

ENGLAND LAKE DISTRICT ‘JOY RIDE’

Drive to the Lake District, the tour book says. It will be a fun joy ride. Whenever you hear the term ‘joy ride’ and it’s not about stealing a car, use extra caution. This was the joy ride around the Lake District.

BLAME ENGLAND FOR THAT?

Blame England? For what? For being so green, so lush, so historical with its leftover Roman roots? For having current people renting and living in four or five hundred year old houses? Go ahead and blame England for anything you want and you’ll be able to find evidence backing it up. Just make it good. […]

DEAREST ENGLAND LOVE LETTER # 1

Dearest England Highway Department, Congratulations on providing drivers with the most puzzling highways in the world as I know it, which isn’t saying much but maybe just enough. My neighbor said he was traveling to Scotland; I asked him if he’s renting a car. “No. I wouldn’t try driving there,” or something. He’s not renting […]

GET MARRIED, STAY MARRIED, HERE’S HOW

When you get married something happens. A woman with an upcoming marriage had this to say: ‘My fiancé is so sweet. He told me it was my day and he’d do his best to make it great.’ Who wouldn’t want to hear that? Did you hear that?

AGE APPROPRIATE FOR WHO

Who says, “Grow up and try to be age appropriate,” and who do they say it too? Your hair’s too long, your clothes don’t match, and you don’t smoke the same cigarettes as them. But that was a long time ago. Since 1966 we’ve learned how to find satisfaction.