SPORTS FAN HISTORY: SING IT OUT

Sports fan used to be a grubby, sweaty, man who enjoyed watching other men do what they couldn’t do.

His observations made him an expert to those who didn’t know sports, and an annoyance to those who did.

Those were the good old days when men dressed in suits and ties, wore a hat, and took themselves out to a ballgame.

But the times changed and so did the men.

Instead of trying to impress women with their knowledge of statistics, probabilities, and analytics, they got in the game.

They saw sports stars with glamorous women and thought, ‘I could do that.’

Instead of sweating in line, finding their sweaty wooden seat, and pounding a rolled up schedule on their leg, they decided to ‘up their game.’

It was a time when thirty was the new sixty.

 

New Wardrobe For A New Sports Fan

The modern sports fan needed an extra large snack sack?

Why, yes they did, and it better be made of Dacron. (Talk about sweaty.)

The guy is one season away from a leisure suit, which he would eventually wear to show man of action style.

This ad came from a time when forty was the new twenty, except the youths were getting their rags from the surplus store.

That dog shows a little too much snack sack interest in the man for my comfort, unless he’s packing kibble.

 

Today’s Sports Fan

Today it’s all about merchandise and branding.

Winning and losing still matters, but product positioning and television are king.

Your team still matters, but so many other things come into play.

You have a better experience at home with the TV than you’d have going out to a game?

Better beer, better foods, better company all mean a better experience.

But something is lost when in-person is less important.

You miss the crush, meeting new people, and sharing the experience.

Luckily for all, there’s sports betting so you’re still a part of the game action.

In addition there’s Fantasy League sports betting.

Now you’re the general manager selecting your own team.

How can it get any better than that without being a real General Manager?

 

You Could Train For Competition, But Something Is Missing

A sports fan is full of confidence and enthusiasm right up until their team loses the most important game in the history of mankind.

Then they want to fire everyone, trade everyone, and start over.

The more ding-a-ling fans start looking for blame.

It’s the refs, it’s the weather, it’s the ball, the turf, the clock.

In the end it’s learning how to take a loss and tell your wife how much money you lost betting on Fanduel and Draftkings.

But there’s something still bothering you, an itch you can’t scratch.

Maybe the other team had a secret weapon?

Whatever it might be, the last thing sports fan admits is his team wasn’t good enough to win.

He’s a winner so everything about him is a winner.

There’s no way his team lost because that would make him a loser, a big, fat, stinking loser.

If they’d won he’d be a big, fat, stinking winner, which means he’d be seen as svelte, trim, and smelling good?

What? Winning takes the stink off? No, but who complains?

 

Big Loser Sports Fan Complains About Everything But His Team

Who complains about Taylor Swift?

Not Boomerpdx, not David Gillaspie.

I think she’s a great addition to the Chiefs fan club.

Instead of working the celebrity angle of sports fan romance with an entourage, she joins her boyfriend’s family in the box and rocks along.

When my nieces were state champion softball players they had cheers like what was going on in the parents’ box at Arrowhead.

It was inspiring then as much as it is now.

A few former players and coaches aren’t feeling it and that’s too bad.

Maybe they need to put on a suit and tie, their favorite hat, and hustle back to the Thirties on the hop where real sports fans showed up?

More knuckle dragging humps yearning for yesteryear?

Drag-ass losers trying to re-hab their public image by slamming a player’s girlfriend?

Who does that?

 

“I’m not the Brett Favre girl. I tell people that every chance I get. Including dumb drunks at a bar.

People meet me say, ‘You’re a lot different than I thought you would be.’ I say, ‘What were you expecting?'”

 

Here’s what I expect from sports fan:

They will cheer, eat chips and bean dip, drink beer, and watch the game for the game’s sake.

If their team loses, like the Cowboys and Eagles, sports fan will wail and gnash and lament, then spend time alone with their favorite Taylor Swift song. 

After they calm down they’ll come back home to their team. Why? I’ll let Taylor explain:

 

I don’t wanna live forever, ’cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don’t wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

Until you come back home

What were you expecting?