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BEER BELLY, BEER BARREL, THEN WHAT

I’m working on a beer belly reduction plan, which means what?
Drink less beer, what else?
I was lamenting my loss after meeting a new guy who fixed broken guitar amps in his garage.
Me: I think the signs are lining up to loose my gut.
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BEING USEFUL LIKE ROBERT FULGHUM

This isn’t Robert Fulghum, it’s me being useful in my Robert Fulghum beard which has gone the way of every beard that dared show itself on my face.
He is probably a better beard steward than me. My enthusiasm for grooming an extra pet in the house lasts about six months.
The last dog lived sixteen years; the current dog is going on five.
Am I being useful for them? More than I am to a beard.
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A SECOND LOOK AT “THAT AIN’T RIGHT”

What’s a second look at this garage arrangement tell you?
What’s missing: a fitness area with a treadmill, squat rack, work bench, maybe a couple of cars stacked on a lift, and a designated music area with guitars, drums, and amps all ready to go.
Not to say this garage is lacking anything, but it looks more like a storage unit than a daily use area to build on, play in, and break a sweat.
This is a great set-up for people ready to move. Loading time in three, two, one . . .
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HISTORICAL FATHER’S DAYS 2026

Historical Father’s Days in the olde country where I watched my children roam like Vikings conquering a new land.
Corfe Castle fell to my marauders.
The locals didn’t like our style of exploration.
The walkway through the ruins led to more investigation off the path.
“How would you like it if we went to your country and climbed on the Jefferson monument?”
“If it was in ruins like this it sounds fun.”

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FARMING DISASTER DONE ON PURPOSE

So much of the awful results of the farming disaster in the old Soviet Union came from bad policy decisions.
In the early 1930’s their main guy Stalin decided he knew more about science and farming than anyone.
He also had advisers explaining it to him in a way he agreed with.
Who doesn’t love the unconditional, “You are right, comrade.”
There was no room for disagreement.

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toughen up

BOOMERITIS, OR WHY DOES IT HURT WHEN I DO THIS?

The Longer You Let Yourself Go, The Longer The Trail Back. One doctor joke goes like this: “It hurts when I raise my arm.” Doc says, “Don’t raise your arm.” It’s as funny the first time as it is the last, if you don’t have arm pain. Most of us have pain from one thing […]

PORTLAND MOLE REMOVAL

  You’ve heard about the importance of the right words at the right time?   The following is a patient review that every professional dreams of.   One day we should all be so lucky.  

THE VIEW THROUGH PORTLAND EYES

Life Changes Year By Year With Portland Eyes. They arrive in pairs, young and old, men and women, all showing the gift. Everyone knew the drill inside the macular degeneration clinic in the middle of the Portland. Of each pair of people, one was getting eye treatment. How does it work? “I’ll move from room […]

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boomer years

SANDWICH GENERATION GRANDY MAKES THE RIGHT CALL

I am in a storage space in my house throwing away rings of gauze and squirt bottles of skin care and wound cleaner. It’s a throwback moment with Grandy, my mother in law who passed two years ago. If I had PTSD I would have been thrown back. Instead it was a sweet memory. But […]

BOOMERPDX ARCHIVE, c. 1983

1-10-83 (Monday) A former Oregon governor died last Saturday. Tom McCall breathed his last in the hospital up the street. Good Samaritan. A student nurse in my building cared for him at the end. She said he’s a great guy. Everyone says it. He seems like someone you’d like to know. Oregon history’s Tom Vaughan […]

GENTRIFY PORTLAND RENT

What else goes up with gentrify Portland rent? Your blood pressure. Once upon a time the chase for the lowest rent led to some pretty sketchy dwellings. It was a contest to find the worst place for the lowest rent. A young single man seeking low rent in college is one thing. A single man […]

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buckle up

A LIKE FOR OREGON

What Brings You To A State Isn’t The Same As What Keeps You There. Take Oregon and New York for example. You stay around Portland for different reasons than people stick around NYC. Size is important. For hundreds of miles around Manhattan people won’t leave, never think of leaving, because of the island. “Oh, we […]

FIVE DIAMOND ATTITUDE: WORK IN PROGRESS

    Ultimate luxury, like crack, coke, meth, heroin, oxy, opioids in general, and cigarettes, is a hard habit to kick.   I’ve worn this wristband for three weeks as a reminder of ultimate luxury, and clever marketing. It reminds me to put things back where I found them in their original luxury, and find […]

Portland Italian Festival, Portland Haute Couture

    Not Little Italy, but Big Italy, Portland’s Italian Festival swinging in the biggest living room in Oregon, Pioneer Square.   Food, beer, and music mix to show the city in the best light possible, like an Italian chandelier.   Is it fun? Educational? Mesmerizing? All of that along with beautiful Italian women in […]

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