OLD STORY? THEY’RE ALL OLD STORIES THE OLDER YOU GET

An old story wears thin over time?

Not when it’s your story, no matter how many times you tell it.

When you hear, “I’ve heard this so many times,” don’t take it as criticism.

That’s just someone bragging about their listening skills, not trashing your repetitiveness.

Still, why not add something new?

Take Coco Channel for example:

 

“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty.
Life shapes the face you have at thirty.
But at fifty you get the face you deserve.”

 

At seventy it’s all about just deserts?

 

just deserts, plural noun
formal: the punishment that one deserves

 

That Nature Face

This face is somewhere between high school graduation and wedding ceremony, my two big events.

Here’s why:

The girl I walked graduation with had her wedding the day before, so I was technically marching with a married woman.

I did the same walk on my wedding, except it was with someone about to get married.

The first one didn’t scar me; neither did the second.

This is the face my wife met one fine spring day on NW Lovejoy.

That’s right, I met my future wife on a street called Lovejoy.

And it’s been a joy, right honey?

I’m now married longer than I was unmarried.

 

About the face and Coco:

It was the same face at thirty.

Wrestling didn’t break it.

It wasn’t shot off in the Army.

Living in Philadelphia and Brooklyn didn’t cave it in.

I got married at thirty-one.

The face was still around.

By fifty I got the face I’d earned; a big old fat face that looked like most every other fat face. Why? Because I was fat.

But not that fat, not too fat to fit in tight places that got tighter all the time until I thinned out.

Did I blame cars for too small a seat? No.

I didn’t blame the gym for not getting ripped either.

 

The Old Story Ahead For The Face

My kids didn’t ruin the face.

Neither did my in-laws.

So what happened?

Every time I grow a beard and skip regular haircuts for a few months, this happens:

I see some old guy with stringy hair and a braided goatee, or look in the mirror.

 

One too many times spotting old guys with bad hair and weak beards and it’s over for the hair and beard.

I’m not saying better, just less.

That fu-manchu is not a popular look, but if I see too many outside Hulk Hogan, zip, it’s gone.

Maybe I should be more self-conscious?

 

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us.
At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us.
At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers

 

There she is, the ageless Ann Landers.

The only thing I can think of that’s different for this face is it’s the face of an exerciser.

From sports to the weight room, to marathon training trail runs, to now dog walking, I’ve found time to break a sweat.

It’s usually an overboard deal for me.

Running Hood to Coast at forty-nine: It’s the fountain of youth.

Joining a gym in the early fifties: It’s the fountain of youth.

After cancer: It’s the fountain of youth.

After hip replacement: It’s the fountain of youth.

It’s a common theme that wears my wife out.

Why do I announce my intentions and accomplishments?

“I’m walking the dog around the block.”

Followed by:

“I walked the dog around the block, now I’m going to stretch out and lift.”

It’s an old story with a haunting reminder.

“Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” Edward Stanley

Ed Stanley died at age seventy.

Uh oh.