OFF THE HOOK IN GOLDEN YEARS?

As the golden years of retirement stretch out before you there are a few things to keep in mind.

Probably more than ten line items, but this is a start.

You don’t have to agree with any of them, but pick and choose in any order.

I’ll start:

 

1. Have you ever been kidnapped? Or kidnapped anyone? Neither?

Good, same with me, but my wife had a close one.

 

PORTLAND, Ore., Aug. 23 (AP) — A mental patient involved in a 1975 threat to blow up a hospital was in custody today after hijacking a jetliner by pretending to have a bomb, the Federal Bureau of Investigation said.

The 112 passengers and eight crew members aboard the hijacked United Airlines 727 flying from Portland to Los Angeles were released unharmed after the plane was forced to return to Portland.

 

My wife, future wife I should say, was among the 112 passengers with eight crew members on board.

I figure the only chance I have to be kidnapped now is mistaken identity, or some random event like a hijacking.

From Google AI:

 

Kidnapping rates for seniors are incredibly low? How low?

 

According to FBI statistics, there were 49,292 kidnappings between January 2025 and January 2026. Among those, just 692 were people aged 70 and older. That’s just about 1% of cases.

 

2,3. Taken hostage and made to run? Go ahead and shoot me now.

4. An 8 PM call will probably interrupt another super shoulder massage session, so leave a message.

5. You’ve aged out of hypochondria for the real deal? Oh, joy.

6. With each new day comes a chance for new learning, the harder the better. What’s wrong with keeping a few hard learning things on the back burner, like how to use a looper machine and musical interface?

7. I knew an old guy, a volunteer in the museum, who said he had a closet full of toilet paper so he’d never run out.

8. You can eat supper at 4:30 in Oregon during the winter when it’s dark and no one questions it. Or hold off until 5.

9. At some point you’ll learn what you can live without and it won’t be a choice.

10. Your brain adjusts to the changes of aging? I’ve been to assisted living, retirement homes, old folks homes, rehab centers, hospitals, clinics, and one thing stands out: one possible future is a semi-sterile room with a bed, a chair by a window, a TV screen, and one of those rectangular tables with a handle to raise and lower it on a wheeled frame to slide over the chair for supper at 4:30 sharp with the ghosts of those who spent their final days just like you.

Or continue in a barndominium full of generational stuff and clutter you call your life.

Tough choice for the golden years.

 

What Should A 70 Year Old Be Doing All Day

You could be learning Latin phrases to slide into conversations naturally instead of making it sound like a foreign language, ergo educated ipso facto in the terra incognita of aging.

Carpe diem, capisce?

Another opinion from social media:

 

At age 70, staying active, engaged, and mentally stimulated is key to maintaining health and quality of life. A balanced daily routine might include:

• Physical activity: Gentle exercise like walking, stretching, or yoga supports mobility, strength, and heart health.

• Mental stimulation: Reading, puzzles, learning a new skill, or engaging in hobbies keeps the brain sharp.

• Social interaction: Spending time with family, friends, or community groups reduces loneliness and supports emotional well-being.

• Rest and nutrition: Adequate sleep and a balanced diet are essential for energy and overall health.

• Purposeful activities: Volunteering, creative projects, or pursuing passions provide meaning and structure to the day.

Let’s break this down based on my own age. (Hey 71)

 

• Physical Activity: Surround yourself with kettlebells, dumbbells, barbells, TRX gear, elastic band stretchers, an incline bench/squat rack, and a treadmill.

  Keep it long enough and you’ll eventually get bored looking at it and use it.

  Doing a little of everything is a lot.

  An added benefit: if you ignore it until the day you get packed out, at least the ambulance crew will see it and think you must have been something back in the day.

  Today is a good day to be that something.

 

• Mental Stimulation: Write. Every. Day.

  I’m not suggesting you write a blog post every day. Not everyone is built for that, but take a moment every day to write something you could be proud of.

  Try using a list someone else made and improve it with your observations. (Who does that?)

  Writing prompt: Is it better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, or speak up and remove any doubt?

  A recent meme said today’s students can’t comprehend writing a ten page paper on a book without AI.

  The comeback from some baby boomer: “I wrote ten page papers without reading the book.”

  Think about it, then write about it.

 

• Social Interaction: If you don’t participate in the lives around you who’s missing out more, you or them?

           Hang on as long as you can.

           No matter where you are you’ll see reminders that spark memories of people you know, or used to know.

           Put some respect on the time together during these gold years.

 

• Rest and nutrition, along with purposeful activities depend on motivation.

            If you’re motivated to be stronger, rest and nutrition are your friends.

            Talk about your workout and someone will volunteer ideas on how to do it better.

             I talked to a guy at the gym about his workout, what he did for such amazing results, and he told me his steroid schedule and said he could hook me up.

            That’s not the purposeful golden years activity to follow.

             Instead, embrace the role you best fit from elder, to shaman, to wiseman, to old crock, stick in the mud, lazy, no good.

              Improve the negatives, enjoy the positives, and pass it along.

 

Why Bother?

Around here we set the table, hit the kitchen, and let ‘er rip.

My wife and I have good times cooking together. We could be a catering team.

From taking classes together in Paris, to her pepper class in Santa Fe, and more hours of Chopped and Beat Bobby Flay than I can count, we mix it up.

She thinks I’ve got a knack, I think she’s got a knack, and we let that be our guide, not a recipe.

Well, it starts with a recipe, then the ingredients change, and we make a new recipe that still represents the original, only better.

That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

 

PS:

If you have a handle on food you’ll always find friends and family at the table. That’s first degree purposeful activity.

 

PSS:

What happens when you catch your second wind and people start talking?