LIFE STAGES WITH ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS

 

 

Instead of death and dying, use the same grief progression for living and life stages. It fits just as well, after all no one said life was easy. Sometimes living is a downer until we find something to live for.

 

Life stages go beyond the chronographic scale, like the Terrible Twenties, the Theatric Thirties, the Flying Forties, or Fifties. If you hear someone older say, “Get ready for the Sucky Sixties and Seventies,” ignore them. The Awful Eighties? Ignore.

 

Taking a longer view of life stages cushions the blows. “What blows?” asked a millennial.

 

“You if you think you’ll skate along your merry way, kid, with a new trophy and juice box at every stop sign.”

 

That’s not a good conversation to have with everyone, but the right ones laugh and say, “Right, helicopter hoarder. Look, there’s any empty square foot, buy something to fill it with.”

 

The Five Life Stages as adapted from Ms Kubler-Ross.

 

Denial:

Who hasn’t woken up thinking, ‘another f-ing day, when does this sh!t show end?’ Whether a rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief, life can grab hold and drag us under.

 

Even a manly man like The Rock, aka Dwayne Johnson, opens up about it, so it must be okay to show some vulnerable, if you need permission. I don’t remember Sly Stallone or Ahrnold giving us that much back story.

 

Who gets up on the worst day of their life and says, “Bring it. Come at me, bro. Test me.”

 

If it’s the same person who minutes later caves to, “No f-ing way this is happening to me. What’d I do to deserve this,” there might be other mood swing issues.

 

If you hit the on/off switch too hard and too often, it breaks. Feel like some internal mechanism hits the switch for you, that it’s not your fault, it still breaks. Too much on and off, up and down, wears things out.

 

Better to address that switch before too much wear, which brings us to:

 

Anger:

Don’t forget FEAR. We need a good dose of fear to stoke the anger enough to bounce between the two like a rogue PacMan.

 

Between anger and fear you’ll find life stages occupied by many who never left that orbit and don’t know it. Like a Sinclair Broadcast Group editorial read by KATU talking heads who thought they had an opinion that mattered, and a lead man saying he has no faith in printed news, anger and fear are hard drivers.

 

Do you feel the anger when you wonder if you’re the only one connecting the dots of doom? You could use those feelings to leave a comment on a blog, hint, hint.

 

Bargaining:

The best way to trade is trade up. Lateral trade or down trade and it feels like a bad bargain. If you bargain, aim high.

 

Like the good plagiarist, borrow from the best, not the worst.

 

Depression:

Kurt Vonnegut used to say he smoked so much because he was too frightened to shoot himself, or something along the suicide line, which fits well with depression.

 

If you know you’re depressed, find help. If you think you’re depressed, find help.

 

“People dealing with depression may believe they will never feel better and that nothing and no one can help them. It is important to know, however, that these feelings can be treated. Free depression hotlines can help people understand their feelings and guide them to the best mental health resources.”

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

• National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

• National Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663

Give a call.

 

Life leaves a few bumps and bruises. They get better, but sometimes we need help. So ask.

 

Acceptance:

It seems an irony that acceptance is at the bottom of the list. The things we’ve got to go through to get here would be much easier if we started with acceptance.

 

Why is it at the bottom of the list? There’s an old joke about a man saying he’d like to die quietly in his sleep when he gets as old as grandpa, and not die screaming like everyone else in grandpa’s car.

 

When you get here in life, death, grief, love, hate, and every shade in between, and all you’ve got is ‘another f-ing day, when does this sh!t show end?’ start checking the boxes on this list:

 

What Year Is It: My Year

 

What Month Is It: My Month

 

What Day Is It: My Day

 

You don’t need the time prompt? Oh, okay.

 

WHAT TIME IS IT: It’s all you and it’s right now.

 

 

With a last life stages thought inspired by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, think pink as in Pink Floyd and shine on you crazy diamond.