BOOMER MEDICINE: THEY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE?

Boomer medicine comes in the same variety as everyone else’s:

What works.

And what doesn’t work.

But for boomers there’s an extra additive.

They take an extra dose of ‘I Don’t Deserve This.’

I’ll take it an extra step with: No one deserves to get deathly ill.

And it’s not a generational thing, it’s nobody.

But, dear reader, it still happens, and it happens to everybody.

One day you feel a little off; the next you’re in the ICU of your local hospital.

Is it funny?

No, it’s not funny when it happens to someone else, but it might be funny if it happens to you.

For example:

You feel a little off in your hometown for a visit but reject going to the local hospital because it’s located in your lifetime rival town.

I got a twinge, something new and different, in North Bend. Was it serious?

If you get old enough you feel things you haven’t felt before and ignore them.

Some people are remembered because they died a preventable death.

They had signs a doctor might detect but boomer says, “Hey, no big deal.”

And they are right. It’s not a big deal right up until they drop dead.

And it’s always a shock.

“He was so healthy. Why just recently he was playing golf and swimming and riding a bike like the old Kotex commercial.”

Moronic Medicine For Boomers

With a twinge that didn’t go away, I went away instead of going to Bay Area Hospital in Coos Bay, Oregon.

But it’s not a stupid as it sounds.

It was during covid and many hospitals were transferring patients to other facilities.

If I’d gone to Coos Bay I would have been transported to Eugene, then maybe Portland?

Hell. No.

Besides, if I had a favorite place to die Coos Bay would be way down the list.

Not that I thought some Pirate would pull the plug once they discovered a Bulldog in the bed.

We’re all grown up now, people. Those childhood rivalries are long past, long gone. Forgotten.

Or are they?

North Bend Bulldog Says What?

Like others my age I have adult children with their own high school rivalries.

To be fair, I stoked the rivalries when I took my kids and their friends to out of town varsity football games when they were middle schoolers.

We’d stop on the way and pick up fast food and save the wrappings and bags.

If the team lost we’d troll the parking lot and throw the trash out the car windows.

Sometimes the team lost and the other school rubbed it in.

That’s when the plans changed from year to year.

If the winning school got caught up in a victory and made fun of their opponent, showed poor sportsmanship, gave the final cheer of, “Na Na Na Na, Hey, Hey, Good-bye,” or something resembling, “We Are The Champions No Time For Losers,” they got more trash.

We returned to one town a year after the worst taunting with bags of trash dumped out at an intersection then turned around and drove through it.

It made a huge mess.

We spent the ride home talking about who would clean it all up, how would they feel if it was their town, and consequences for their actions.

“Ask yourselves, was this revenge or just an act of vandalism?”

That was the last dump run before everyone grew up. Most everyone.

I was thinking about growing up when I didn’t check into Bay Area Hospital.

Boomer Medicine Two Days Ago

Kid: I just met a lady from Coos Bay. I said my Dad’s from down there. Go Bulldogs. She let me know I’m a fool, nicely, and Go Pirates.

Me: And people say they grow out of these things? Never. Get the trash, we’re taking a drive.

It’s healthy to work together, a benefit to everyone interested in moving forward on goals and aspirations.

But we make mistakes along the way, do something or say something that’s taken the wrong way.

Then one side has hurt feelings and the other side guilt for not understanding how their words or actions were interpreted.

It gets worse before it gets better.

What do you do if you put your hand in flames too long? If you say, “pull your hand out of the flame,” you’re right.

What happens if you talk about the flame to everyone possible? You get questions like, “Who lit the fire?”

After consideration, and some boomer medicine, a spike in blood pressure came back to normal.

Dealing with a problem, whether it’s my problem, your problem, or their problem, starts in the right place.

The Beginning.

Better Boomer Medicine

Be responsible, accountable, and prepared to accept consequences.

Better yet, make sure you can trust the people you talk to when your heart is on your sleeve.

Not everyone has taken the same vows as a Catholic at confession.

Going to Confession

• The priest gives a blessing or greeting.
• Make the Sign of the Cross and say, “Bless me father, for I have sinned. … 
• Confess all your sins to the priest. … 
• Say, “I am sorry for these and all my sins.”
• The priest gives a penance and offers advice to help you become a better Catholic Christian.

If you seek answers to problems from friends, know that they have their own problems too.

Not everyone can backseat their problems to help you, and when they do it may not be helpful.

Know your role in life and play it as well as you can.

If I have a disagreement with my wife do I ask my single friends for advice? If they gave it, would I take it?

Not when it starts with, “Dump that bitch. You can do better. Let’s go to the bar and hustle some babes. That’s always a sure cure.”

That’s just bad relationship advice from a loser who doesn’t care what kind of shit they stir up.

My tactical advice is review the situation, your role, how you could have done better, then do better.

Nothing about quitting or starting over or blaming until I’m blue in the face.

No one looks good in boomer medicine blue face.