Boomer Gold Standards

image by Elaine Gillaspie

At the rate of 10,000 a day, Baby Boomers drive into their golden years.

They are the most prepared. They are the least prepared.

The truth is, they are somewhere in the middle.

Or, as Charles Dickens wrote:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

Was Dickens a Boomer? He sounds like one.

What is your plan for your golden years?

Make sure you have plenty of boomer gold, or other valuables to grease the wheels.

Make sure you have good enough boomer health to keep your dreams together.

Make sure you wrap your boomer family in your arms as tight as you can.

But where to start?

Keep track of your finances, or trust your partner to keep track. There’s no free ride in this world, but there’s something called supporting your spouse.

If you’re not married, no worries. Boomers are a congenial bunch. You’re still invited to the party, but you might be a target. Of what, you ask?

• Quick story: A Boomer had a broken pipe in his sprinkler system. In a panic, she called a sprinkler service. A man showed up, didn’t fix the problem because it was plumbing, not a sprinkler pipe, that broke.

Sprinkler man charged $800 for his emergency work, then took out a city permit to work on the sprinkler system. Boomer called a plumber for the broken pipe, then got called by the sprinkler man who said they’d start work on the system in two days.

Boomer canceled the work and sprinkler man sued and won. Turns out the sprinkler man did this all the time, evidenced by over twenty complaints to the state board from a string old elderly ladies he cheated the same way.

Conclusion: Whether Boomer man or woman, beware of the sharpie who works the system to get your money. I, er the lady, paid $1400 for a seventy nine cent piece of plastic tube.

• Does your doctor have you on a medication regiment? If you ask them why you take so many pills, and they ask how you feel, listen carefully.

You’ll say, “I feel fine.”

The doctor says, “That’s why you take so many pills.”

This is a variation on the sprinkler man routine. Get real answers about your health. Don’t settle for the, “It’s too complicated and you wouldn’t understand” answer.

• Once you get a good hold on your money and health, start explaining how important your kids are to you. Tell them, not your partner.

You’ve shared a large part of your life with them. They are your hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow.

Of course, if you’ve been a boomer parent abandoned by your kids, it’ll be harder. You’ll need to find a way to reach them. How can you do that?

Start with apologizing for what you did to drive them away. Tell them you regret it, that you regret it more every year.

But what if they were the problem? What if they had problems that made them steal and lie and cheat? What if they’re too embarrassed to even face you?

Work the problem to the best possible solution. Make them understand you’re capable of forgiveness, and mean it.

Baby boomers have been change agents all their lives. Help the kids change enough to see their new place in your life.

And lock up the valuables when they visit in case they relapse when you leave the room.

You may have been born at night, Boomer, but it wasn’t last night.