THE BELT: LINKING FITNESS AND WEIGHT LOSS

Weight loss questions find new answers every day.

Lose faster, lose slower, lose here, not there; just take this pill, this shot, or say these words.

To every fat man, there is a solution.

I’ll start with my new belt. You know the one.

The old belts all have three or four stretched holes from the prong of a belt belt buckle on the move.

Maybe you got a new belt after your last weight loss campaign?

The first hole to show any wear lasted a couple of months of slim, trim, new you.

The second hole out took a beating because you refused to move off of it no matter the breathing problem.

Third hole out, even worse.

 

 

After a nine year run on two belts bearing the same worn holes, I went shopping for a new one, a full, thick, strip of hide.

First stop Nordstroms at Washington Square Mall.

 

Me looking at the first belt: Here it is. Let’s go before I hyper-ventilate.

Wife: Like you did at the perfume counter.

Me: Probably an allergic reaction, but still a close call.

Large sales lady: Are you finding everything okay?

Me: Yes.

Wife: That belt won’t fit around your gut, and I don’t want to look at it under your gut.

Sales lady: Okay then, let me know if I can help.

 

New Belt, Old Problem

You have a pair of pants in the closet ready to strut . . . once you can fit into them.

Aspirational pants, let’s say.

For a special day, like new belt day.

But you need a new belt now, so start leaning out and dropping the pounds.

Force yourself to eat only protein and steamed vegetables for every meal one week straight.

Notice I didn’t say the friendly, cheese-saucy, salad dressing, ‘veggies?’

No cheese sauce or salad dressing, just meat and capitol V vegetables, the kind that makes kids hate eating vegetables.

Mmm, cauliflower. Mmmm brussel sprouts.

 

 

If you last a day you’re doing good.

So one day I opened a package to find a belt, a thick strip of hide, not two thin strips sewn together, and an ingenious ‘floating’ belt loop.

Take my wife. Please.

She found the perfect belt with a prong that hit the hole with two to spare, two to grow into, two to expand out.

Of course that will never happen, not with the floating extra belt loop to catch the longer tip as I move down to the next hole and the one after.

And there you have it. Weight loss with a new belt.

But we all know it’s not that easy.

I panicked when I cinched up and only found one hole from the end.

I’d accidentally tucked my sweatshirt in. Whew.

 

Weight Loss Fitness

I’ve been classified ‘morbidly obese’ more than once. It’s a burden I never think of while hogging down a Mr. Elmer’s omelette and ‘loaded hash browns.’

From google AI:

 

A 400 lb person can realistically and safely lose 4 to 8 pounds per month, which is the recommended pace of 1–2 pounds per week.

While faster initial loss is possible, rapid weight loss often leads to muscle loss and weight regain; slow, sustainable changes are safer and more effective for long-term health.

 

Also google AI:

 

Losing 50 pounds in 3 months on Ozempic is highly unlikely for most people and generally not considered safe or typical, as clinical trials show average weight loss of 5–15% over several months

. While rapid initial weight loss can occur, a more sustainable, medically guided pace is 50 pounds over 6–12 months.

 

Based on hard-won experience, I see people like me losing weight with two results:

They turn thin and soft, or thin and droopy.

Or both.

Which is different than big and soft, or big and droopy?

I was slightly freaked out looking when I came off cancer treatment that included a very sore throat, the sorest throat in all of history.

Just breathing was slightly less painful than swallowing anything, so I cut down on swallowing and lost sixty pounds on chemo and radiation in six weeks.

That’s when my wife took a look and said, “I found this picture of your dad. You two look so much alike now. When was it taken?”

It was taken about a week before my dad died, which, along with a family intervention pep talk, got me straightened out on the road to recovery.

It was a slim, trim, new me.

That was way back in 2017. Waaaaay back there, like it was yesterday.

I was weak as a baby, but got better. Soft and droopy from 265 to 199.5.

Now I’m at at 236 and looking at a 220 goal.

And a new belt.

 

PS:

If weight loss goals have a potential side effect of ruining your health and creating chronic conditions for the rest of your life, maybe get a second opinion from an informed source.

PSS:

Think about cutting back each day, a little less here, a little less there.

I’m not thinking about it when I eat half and take half in a box.

Not making a big deal out of being weight conscious since it’s a given with a new belt.

A little less here + A little less there = A little less you, A little less me.

And that leaves more for others.