GENTLE SUGGESTIONS FOR GOOD TIMES

Who doesn’t make gentle suggestions?

Call it good manners if you know the difference between a request and an order.

‘Would you please help me?’ instead of, ‘Get over here and make yourself useful.’

This happened recently:

Two people were in a sauna, one used a sauna brush to scrub their skin.

 

Man: Hand me your brush.

Woman: You have your own.

 

That was me giving my wife an order, ‘give me your brush.’

That was her telling me to forget it.

An hour later I brought it up.

 

Me: Remember the time I asked you to hand me your brush and you said you didn’t want to mix my disgusting flakey skin to yours?

Wife: I didn’t say that. Besides, you’re not flakey. 

Me: Thank you. But you didn’t give me your brush so I could give you a good scrub in the hard to reach spots.

Wife: That’s what you wanted to do?

Me: Yes. Did you think I wanted to scrub down with your slimy brush?

Wife: It’s not slimy. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to scrub my back.

Me: If someone you know makes a request . . .

Wife: Okay, here we go. Is this another Finishing School rule?

Me: . . . go ahead and do it. Then make the corrections after you know what they’re up to.

Wife: Like scrubbing my back with a sauna brush.

Me: I figure you misunderstood my intentions because I’ve never volunteered. You always ask first and I beat you to it.

Wife: Yes you did. 

Me: Next time hand me your brush.

Wife: I might. 

 

Did anyone get the deluxe sauna brush scrub-fest?

Noooooo.

 

What To Do Instead

When we care about people, we are extra-sensitive to their anguish, which can mean avoiding certain topics of conversation.

Maybe you don’t bring up money challenges with a friend who has a lot of student loan debt. Or you don’t talk about politics with your family because the discussion gets a little too heated.

But avoiding a topic altogether means making a choice for the other person instead of letting them be responsible for themselves.

The more you focus on not upsetting others, the more sensitive you become to their reactions until the slightest hesitation or disagreement can make you put a topic in cold storage.

This is how spouses can go years without talking about sex or how family members can only guess each other’s religious beliefs.

 

Baby boomers, the movers and shakers of their generation, are shifting into something that feels like regret.

Maybe things would have turned out better if they’d paid better attention earlier?

Could someone tell Sunshine and Moonbeam it’s not too late?

It’s easier to wallow, but there’s no future in it.

What to so instead? Make a personal commitment.

Read more? Lift weights? Better diet? Keep a current connection with those you matter to, those who matter to you?

Be a better friend?

More sex, drugs, and rock and roll? Let’s pay attention.

How did it work out the last time you got high and got it on to Bang A Gong?

 

Well you’re windy and wild
You’ve got the blues
In your shoes and your stockings
You’re windy and wild
Oh yeah

Well you’re built like a car
You’ve got a hubcap
Diamond star halo
You’re dirty sweet
And you’re my girl

 

Planning For The Future

The gentle suggestion here is take the kids to the park, then join the revolution.

We like following through around here.

Part of the follow through, besides minding our manners and not getting too demanding, is keeping life in order.

Is everyone happy? Good.

I will follow through on a few previous posts I wrote under the radar of current times by reflecting the methods used to install the post-WWII Iron Curtain across central and Eastern Europe.

Daddy Stalin seeped his wishes into the surrounding nations gradually, and the people went about their daily lives.

Everything is fine, was fine, until the Red Army troops who had liberated the countries overrun by Germany, who had beat back that threat, didn’t leave on schedule.

Still, no alarms. Life went on, right up until it didn’t when the liberators became the new threat.

Once the populations began protesting their presence, the tanks rolled.

Then the wall went up in Berlin.

The American President at the time, John Kennedy, visited the wall and called on all free men wherever they may live as citizens of Berlin.

Ich bin ein Berliner!

Since those hopeful days in 1963 the hard lines between east and west have softened, then grew back more rigid.

The bad guys were more easily identifiable back then.

Today it’s a guessing game for most, and they get help from familiar faces assuring them all is calm, all is bright.

The preacher: All is calm, all is bright.

The elected and appointed officials: All is calm, all is bright.

A gentle suggestion: When a liar tells the truth, but lies so often they get a pass, pay attention.

Call it the fine print. Read up.

 

PS: The Cold War in the Soviet Union was one of propaganda and false presentation to placate a hostage situation.

 

PSS: Over here, we’re Americans. We can handle the truth.