WHEN ALCOHOL HITS DIFFERENT(LY)

Alcohol hits everyone differently.

Like any disruptive element, you need to find the boundaries.

Saying “Let’s get a beer” to a pal who keeps going until you get a phone call from a thousand miles away should only happen once.

They need to set their boundaries.

But what about you?

If you’re a black-out drunk you’re probably not reading this, and if you are you won’t remember.

No one wants a booze-nagger on the screen, and that’s not what I’m doing here.

It’s the couple in the picture who celebrate gin and tonic.

Hell, I celebrate gin and tonic. It’s a great drink, but I keep away from it.

Why?

Because I’m not going to be the one answering the question of, “Who drank all the gin?”

If it was me, I’d say. But it’s not, so I don’t get that question.

The correct answer to ‘who drank all the gin?’

If you don’t remember you might want to push away.

 

Wife: Who drank all of the gin?

Me:

Wife:

Me: If you don’t remember you might want to push away.

 

In that picture the guy looks like an expert explainer who gets smarter with each gin and tonic.

The girl looks like she wishes he’d shut up.

That’s what I see.

 

About That Couch

If anyone should get passed out drunk on a couch, it’s the man of the house.

Seeing a woman passed out seems sad and vulnerable, like someone isn’t caring for her.

Passed out guy? Good night. Throw a rug over them and turn out the lights.

I saw an episode of Always Sunny In Philadelphia where the guys were all certain they had a fatal disease.

It turned out they hadn’t been drinking enough booze to feel like themselves.

In a slice of real life, I went to a party where some people showed up late with, “We had to stop and drink, we couldn’t take it any longer.”

They’re showing dedication to getting on with the night until the alcohol hits differently.

They run out of liquor and get antsy; they don’t run out of liquor and get antsy.

Or they disappear until you get a phone call from them a thousand miles away.

 

I’ve got bruises on my memory
I’ve got tearstains on my hands
And in the mirror, there’s a vision
Of what used to be a man

I’m a thousand miles from nowhere
Time don’t matter to me
‘Cause I’m a thousand miles from nowhere
And there’s no place I want to be

 

If you’re a thousand miles from nowhere, and there’s no place you want to be?

You need to take a sober look at things and find where you want to be.

Can you repair relationships? Yes, and there will be signs.

 

The Signs

Single people have seen how marriage works by observing.

For example, we had a guest arrive just after the wife and I had talked about an urgent issue.

The urgency was temporary and we let it go.

In other words I didn’t think it was urgent, and she did. What was so urgent? Who knows.

Our unmarried guest mentioned the tension, which is a red flag in itself that single people apparently don’t understand.

I diffused the concern with, “It’s marriage, bro. You learn to bob and weave just enough and still kiss the girl.”

Then I kissed my wife before she could turn away.

Goooooooaaaaallllll.

Things happen every day that need attention.

From birthdays to holidays, life hits differently the older you get.

So does love.

The balance between life and love, and gin and tonic, is delicate and requires constant adjusting.

A little more life, a little more love, a little more lime.

 

PS: Don’t overdo any of the three. The man who lavishes expensive gifts on his wife on a whim probably has a ‘gumar’, a word I learned watching the Sopranos. Or maybe they’re just the most thoughtful of men?

 

PSS: The example older people set is often reflected in the youth. How’s that working out so far? I’m thinking re-set.