LOVE MAP FOR MEN AND WOMEN

Is there such a thing as a ‘love map?’

Let’s find out together, starting with, “Yes, there is such a thing, and it’s purely scientific.”

Now that all of you nerds are on board with science, let’s go.

This could be a picture of Anywhere, USA.

If it were a small town it would be a little bigger; if it’s a city it would be a ‘neighborhood.’

Either way there’s sidewalks to walk on and two way traffic with parking on the curb.

This is the love map, David’s Version.

If you’re a baby boomer you know all about maps, the one’s folded and unfolded and refolded over and over until the folds start breaking apart from the wear.

It’s the map pulled out every day to make sure we’re all on the road less traveled. Am I right?

That was the standard, a paper map.

They were nothing like today’s screen maps where you can zoom in so tight on an address you can see the windows.

Do it to your own address and you can wave to yourself in the window, or at least see your car in the driveway.

It looks different from the middle of NW 21st looking back at Lovejoy.

Whether it’s town or city, walking down a sidewalk has consequences.

If you’re not prepared, then you’re better off staying in behind locked doors.

It’s no place for beginners.

 

Consequences?

The love map takes a turn when walking down the sidewalk segues into a walk down the aisle.

Whether it’s an aisle, a yard, or living room carpet, people have certain expectations that kick in when you first meet.

Will your friends and neighbors like them? Will your family like them?

But the first question you ask yourself?

‘Is this THE ONE?’ Or the one right now?

The journey goes from the sidewalk, to the road, and once you run out of places to go but still like being around each other, to the altar, which you soon realize was the destination from the start.

And it feels so right.

 

Growing up in the seventies came with a map in song:

 

Well, I’m a-runnin’ down the road tryna loosen my load
I’ve got seven women on my mind
Four that wanna own me, two that wanna stone me
One says she’s a friend of mine

 

Any mention of marriage back then meant it was time to go.

Any mention of breaking up was a reason to break up.

Why not try and talk it over and ‘make it work?’ Here’s why:

Get married first and make that work if you want to work on it.

The working part is going to marriage counseling so one of you, or both, can try and get over the past, which includes bad boyfriends, bad girlfriends, bad break-ups, overbearing parents, brain-dead siblings, and any other issues on the radar.

Not all the cards are on the table in the beginning.

How to tell the difference between ‘the one,’ and ‘the right one?’

‘The One’ is a dream of a free spirit roaming wild with no constraints or obligations to tie them down, to hinder their search for joy and peace.

Once they are lashed to the marriage boat, they eventually panic. Like a caged animal, like a shark in a net, like a . . .

Hence, the marriage counseling where you learn you embody every evil ever done in their world.

Who knew? You should have, and would have, with a longer engagement.

They take their search in other directions, mainly away from you, with a cat, maybe two.

The right one brings a ready response to the basic question of ‘Do I stay, or do I go.’

They like you, they love you, can’t get enough of you; if you have any doubts about the direction you’re going as a couple, they tell you to beat it before you get married, not after.

They have a life to live, with or without you, so be sure and change your ‘Do I?’ game, to ‘I Do.’

Then do it.

 

What The Right One Says

I broke off my engagement as a test, an intention test.

The break-up lasted an hour, which is what it took to realize my wife-to-be had plans bigger than us if we didn’t work out.

She would move to Europe, meet someone, probably a prince on vacation in Tuscany, have a fabulous wedding, beautiful children, and live happily ever after.

It sounded pretty good except for the part about me. I was missing. I didn’t want to be missing out on a fabulous wedding, beautiful children, and living happily ever after.

Instead of making it a discussion, she made it officially over, which wasn’t part of the test.

I caved, told her my testing idea failure, and we were back to being engaged.

The embarrassing part was we had both announced the break-up to her mother who was visiting.

An hour later we stood in front of her and announced our re-engagement.

Mother In-law to me: I figured you were just having cold feet.

 

Running Down The Road

You’ll run down this road together.

You’ll run, walk, crawl, or be dragged down the road one way or another. Probably both.

The road is life, my friends, and the sooner you know that, the better.

Some parts are paved, other parts gravel and mud, so be prepared.

It’s better together, better to share. And it never seems to end.

Instead of counseling, take travel tips from the Wilbury’s.

 

Well, it’s all right even when push comes to shove
Well, it’s all right if you got someone to love
Well, it’s all right, everything’ll work out fine
Well, it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line

 

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
Waiting for someone to tell you everything 
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring 
Maybe a diamond ring

 

Well, it’s all right even if you’re old and gray
Well, it’s all right, you still got something to say
Well, it’s all right, remember to live and let live
Well, it’s all right, the best you can do is forgive

 

From The Love Map Of Portland, David’s Version

This intersection, NW 21st and Lovejoy, is my crossroads.

Instead of a blogger shining a light in the dark, I could have been some guy waiting on the corner for the light to change.

I changed instead. I joined the married population.

So did my wife.

Yesterday we visited another couple in the married population, people married longer than us and making it look fun. (Hey B&P)

Every married couple is either an inspiration to the institution, or a detriment.

Inspire the newly weds with less time in the saddle by showing off common courtesy and good manners with a spouse and treating them as the important people they are.

If your spouse acts surprised by your common courtesy and good manners? Maybe too much show.

 

PS: Unfold your love map often to see where you are.

PSS: Do it together.