CHRISTMAS DINNER 2024 IN REVERSE

Christmas dinner at the end looks like more work for someone.

It’s not a mystery.

Besides I like the whole process of getting things cleaned up for the next mess.

Maybe it’s about getting older, but it’s fun setting things up.

The closer to dinner time, the better it looks.

 

To make sure we get it right we look around.

This looks like our table.

It’s not.

Same chairs?

 

 

You know important guests are coming for Christmas dinner when the real silverware comes out.

Wife: Let’s use the good silver.

Me: Will it go in the dishwasher?

Wife: No.

Me: I’ll wash later.

 

Those are the famous ‘English poppers’ on the table.

 

 

The Tanned Turkey For Christmas Dinner

This is the most fussed-over bird of the year since we had Thanksgiving away. (Hey Sam, hey Moon)

The chii rellenos come in second for fussiness.

It turned out better than I remember any other turkey I’ve been involved with.

The Pioneer Woman led the way.

 

 

Wrap it in heavy duty foil? Yes, but put a sheet of parchment paper on first for a contact buffer.

Why does it need to be layered in towels like an old wrestler trying to make weight?

Fire up the sauna next.

 

 

Before the oven, the bird got a bath, a pat-down, a massage.

Brining is good, but too much isn’t good.

It was an overnight soak.

 

 

The last thing to do with such a good bird before the roasting pan?

The Turkey Dance.

Don’t let it fly off on you.

 

If you’re married and want to stay that way, this is how to approach the holidays:

Pop two big bottles of warm champagne.

Be warned: it’s going to burst out of the bottle like Old Faithful.

Twice.

Mix with OJ for a mimosa.

When it runs out, and it will because you lose half of each bottle in the eruption, switch up to making the manmosa with OJ and beer.

Do the major cooking early, make the invites for 10:30, and spend the day with your favorites starting with a salmon and bagel brunch.

Dinner at four with wrapping paper shredding in between.

Merry Christmas to one and all. That means you, too.

 

(One for the things different about this year is discovering the City of David. I like to say ‘the more Davids the better’ when I meet another David, but this is even bigger. I can’t be the only David that didn’t know this.)