RELATIONSHIP REPORT CARDS ON BOOMERPDX

Relationship report cards should always be filled out by a third party.

We already know how the principal partners grade:

“It wasn’t me, it was them.”

Sound like an A grade to you? But it’s never that easy.

Nor should it be. Who is a qualified third party?

If it’s your mom, and you will accept no other, you’re not playing the game right.

Your mom is either a fan of you, or you’re her biggest disappointment.

Either way, her opinion comes with a bias. Remember, she used to change your diapers.

How about your dad? Since he’s been married to your mom, he might be swayed.

If your parents are divorced you have a new set of problems.

Remember, you’re getting graded on your relationship report card, you’re not grading theirs.

Even if they ask you, don’t do it.

By the way, they’ll never ask. As parents, they’ve got Parent Report Cards to keep them busy.

And who wants to get into their new relationships?

The Baby Boomer Advantage

As a middle boomer, we have more to work with.

We were in Junior High during the hippie days of hair and weed and Love Story.

Early boomers went all in on alternative living. For some of them, a living hell was life in a suburban ranch house.

Anything was better than that.

Eventually that suburban ranch house looks pretty good, but it takes a while.

Back in the day cheap apartments were plentiful. Guys could live like a pigs and move instead of clean up.

Of course cheap apartments come with a few disadvantages, like being in a neighborhood where going out at night is like a survival course plan:

‘If I leave now and come back early I’ll miss the crowd gathered for the weekend car burning down the street.’

That was Sunset Park in Brooklyn, NY.

2

I had neighbors across the hall from one apartment in NW Portland. A big guy and a little guy.

One night they fought it out on the sidewalk.

The big guy didn’t know how to fight, but he could take a punch.

The little guy kept saying, “We don’t have to do this,” while he circled and peppered his roomie with jabs.

Once the big guy started bleeding, the smaller roommate helped him clean up and they called it a night.

Later I learned the fight started over a pool game in a local bar, which sounded right for the neighborhood in 1982.

3

Things have changed from 1982 to 2022.

Rent’s gone up. People got married and moved. New people have picked up on relationship report cards.

Now consider this: have the changes from 1982 to 2022 been more challenging than the changes from 1942 to 1982?

It’s the same forty year span. Take your time thinking about it.

1942:

War Bonds introduced raising $13 billion 

Women’s Coast Guard Auxiliary established 

Voice of America begins broadcasting 

Car Makers switch from making cars to making War Materials 

The United States conducts an air raid on Tokyo during World War II. 

1982:

Check it out on historical newspapers.

Relationship Report Card In 2022

My wife and I had a talk about watering plants.

She asked me to do it, so I did it.

But, I didn’t do it the right way.

Me: There’s the plant, here’s the water. The water is on the plant.

Her: But it’s not getting to the other side. Can’t you see that?

Me: See me watering from the top? Gravity is bringing the water to all the plants.

Her: I want the other side watered, too.

So I watered the other side while she watched.

Her: You’re watering the plants like you don’t care.

Me: Here’s the important take away: The plants are getting watered like we agreed. I care about the plants getting watered. What I don’t care about is hearing more chirping about doing what I’m doing because you asked me to do it. When I’m finished, the plants will be watered.

Her: Next time I’ll do it myself.

Relationship Report card self grade: A.

Why? Because I didn’t tell her to do it herself, which seemed like a choice.

And I didn’t spray her down while I was at it.

New grade: A+