FOR NEW FATHERS WONDERING WHAT’S NEXT

New fathers have more to do than they did in the past.

Back then the job was dropping little Missy off at the hospital and buying a rack of cigars to hand out.

And smile. Paste a big old grin on new fathers faces, but look a little closer to see the bewilderment.

No one starts off as an expert daddy, so I’m here to help.

It all starts with loyalty.

Loyalty to anything in the past is now compounded and directed to wife and baby. All of it.

This includes loyalty to your birth family, Boy Scouts, teams you’ve played on and teams you follow, schools, clubs, cults, and congregations. All of that misguided loyalty is now commanded by your wife and baby.

Am I leaving anything out?

Put Your Wife First

Try and put her above you since you both put baby first.

This applies to couples strong enough to bear the burdens of expectations, uncertainty, and regret.

If that’s not you, don’t. worry. It goes like this:

Understanding regret, uncertainty, and expectations usually means experience. But what kind of experience?

Life experience.

Did the girl you met at a college party look strong enough to take the beatdown life serves up and ask for more?

How about your buddy’s girlfriend? Did she look sturdy enough for the long run?

Did the girl you met in photography class look like she might develop into something special?

If you marry any of the women above, the same rules apply, beginning with loyalty.

She is #1. You are not #1, no matter the way things play out. The mother of your baby is the shining light that guides your way.

Sound easy enough?

New Fathers Step Up

Once you’ve covered the basics, focus on the more interesting parts.

As a new father, one of your jobs is Guard Dog.

Instead of a yippy thing that rolls over and pees on itself, you are a junk yard dog on a heavy chain that rattles when you walk.

No one hears the chain. You won’t hear the rattle, but any threat that presents itself will hear it.

Instead of the sort of dog that barks and backs up, you have the authority to go into attack dog mode.

You are on the firing line for the rest of your life. Get used to it.

What’s next? That’s the beauty of it.

You’ll be ready no matter what comes next.