10 BOOMER HEALTH NOTICES

What To Know, What To Ignore For Boomer Health.

1. You weigh too much.

Extra weight stresses your knees and hips, your ankles and heart.

Too much weight is a golden ticket for Type 2 Diabetes.

Why not go away and mind your own business?

2. You’re too thin.

Thin people have a greater threat of dementia.

Too thin mean less muscle to protect your bones. You’re going to break.

Very thin includes issues like cancer, meth, or an obsessive/compulsive diagnosis you’ll need a pill for.

If it’s not a problem, don’t make it a problem.

3. You have too many friends.

They pull you every direction at once and take up all your time.

Just because you’re a late bloomer who didn’t go to the high school prom doesn’t mean you need to make up lost ground with thousands of Facebook friends.

Maybe you’re like Prince’s mother; never satisfied until doves cry.

People like you the way you are.

Stop trying so hard to please everyone.

4. You have no friends.

Even the people you spend time with think you’re a hermit.

Expand your social circle. Science says people engaged in others’ lives are happier people.

Happy is good.

Your best friend is not supposed to be the operator from the ‘I’ve fallen and I get up’ service.

Or the 911 dispatcher.

Try and get out more.

5. You’re a foodie and proud.

The more involved you get with food shopping and preparation, the more you alienate others.

Not everyone worships The Food Channel.

You only eat free range, organic, meat? That’s good.

You’re a vegetarian who eats fish? Confusing. Why bring that up?

You’re a vegetarian who eats organic only and won’t saute vegetables in a pan that’s cooked meat?

Welcome to BYOP (bring your own pan) world.

6. You adhere to the food basics.

One pan, one wooden bowl, one spoon? That’s who you are and who everyone should be.

You’re only diet limitations are what you can cook in the pan, fit in the bowl, and eat with a spoon.

Soup and oatmeal?

Is this a special diet, or are you lazy?

Sauces and seasoning are your friends. A cup of rice is nice, but better with a few extras.

Choose herbs and spices with benefits.

7. You are happily married.

You dated once in high school, then married your first date.

The fortieth anniversary you just celebrated came with all the bells and whistles.

Over the past few years you’ve wondered what you missed by not dating anyone else.

Everyone on facebook seems happier with their lives than you with yours.

Your spouse mentions the increase in empty wine bottles on recycling day.

8. You’re single and loving it.

You don’t have a current relationship, but if you did it would be an ‘open’ relationship.

‘Open’ is what you called your first marriage.

You won’t commit to one person because you don’t want to miss THE ONE.

When you’re alone with your thoughts you realize everyone you ever dated could have been THE ONE.

The problem was they knew you were NOT THE ONE right away. And you haven’t changed.

9. The 55 And Over neighborhood.

A nice couple you met at the store live in a senior development.

One of their neighbors has five cats. At least they feed five cats. They don’t know who they belong to.

A neighbor on the other side has a mini-storage unit full of gear to celebrate every holiday on the calendar.

It’s more than hanging a flag. They put stuff on their roof. Sequenced lighting spells words, electric pumps keep soft statues inflated.

Lady Liberty on July 4th never looked better.

You and the man are the same age.

You: jeans, sandals, t-shirt.

Him: slacks, hush puppies, cardigan sweater.

10. The aging truth.

A suburban boomer once said: “Do you want to be the young guy in the old neighborhood, or the old guy in the young neighborhood?”

They sold the perfect kid house while their youngest was a high school senior and built the perfect empty nest house on an in-fill city lot.

If the neighbors haven ‘t noticed, the new place is everything right about moving into the city.

Stone terraced front with automatic sprinklers?

Check.

Energy efficient construction, heating, and cooling?

Check.

Raised garden beds with handy greenhouse shade for cold snaps?

Check.

Global buckets showing third world sensitivity with first world style?

Check.

A re-claim, DIY, made by hand ethos that turns away from big box store standards?

Check.

Boomers showing SE PDX hipsters how to live better?

Double check. Maybe triple.

No one keeps score, but if they did some boomers would be off the chart.

Mental health, physical health, and spiritual health all combine in this package we call life.

If you feel out of balance, review the list.