YELLED AT? HOW TO RECOVER

Getting yelled at is not an experience for the timid.

But how often do we have a choice of who yells what?

Never. Especially when it goes off the tracks, off topic.

Then it’s not about you, but them. Goes like this:

A parent who yells at their kids as a means of communication isn’t trying to say anything as much as they’re repeating what they grew up with.

Ask yourself how many well adjusted adults, kind and caring adults, are secret or not so secret screamers?

If you were gently raised, the first time someone decides to yell a hole in your head that wasn’t there, who think your ears aren’t working hard enough, can be a life-long memory.

And not a good one. Maybe it’s time to change the perspective.

Can You Hear Me?

Old Yeller doesn’t care if you can hear them. They can hear themselves and that’s good enough.

More than enough.

But we still take it personally.

How is a kid not supposed to take it personally.

I’ve met one fuck-up father who gets time with their kid twice a month and uses it to yell at them.

What’s the subject?

It’s not him since he’s not the problem. Yes, he’s a boozed out drunk who gets a little too high a little too often, but he’s not the problem.

For him, it’s his kid.

There are dots to connect, but shitty dad has no ink in his pen.

So the kid suffers his presence in their life.

“But at least she has a dad,” is a weak argument.

The only reason he sees his kid is because of a court decision.

Lucky for him their time together includes his ability to indulge in bad habits.

Bad Fathers Find Bad Father Friends

Imagine a group of jerks pouring out their hearts to each other over drinks and smokes and snorts.

“I could have been somebody if I hadn’t been trapped into marriage by a pregnant girlfriend.”

“It’s worse when you don’t know if it’s even your kid.”

“They always say we’re the only ones. My wife said I was the only one after the first kid, then she got pregnant again. I don’t know how it could be me since I was busy with my other girlfriends.”

“I hear you, bro. They always want us to give up our lifestyle, as if they don’t remember they were just one in a long line of satisfied customers.”

“That’s what I told my wife after I head you say that the first time. She cried. I asked what she was crying about. She yelled at me like I said something wrong.”

Yelled At By Professionals

It’s unfortunate that jackassed husbands yell at their wives.

These are weak men who’ve never been on the other end of a vulnerable relationship with an abusive person.

In other words, they’ve never been on the receiving end of a spit-filled, bad-breathed, rant from an Army Drill Sergeant working to make you the best you can be.

By the time I got the treatment I already understood the dynamics of getting yelled at.

No, it wasn’t my parents, it was coaches. Football coaches and wrestling coaches are the best yellers.

You do something like fall on your back during your Senior Night wrestling match after stabbing your mom in the boob with a corsage pin and you might get yelled at.

In 1973 I faced off against the top guy in district at my weight. He was undefeated when we took the mat.

I was cautious in front of a full house at home, but the guy didn’t seem very competitive.

So I hopped around, stalled a little to sit on my lead, then decided to go big.

2

I moved my guy, pushed and pulled until just the right moment for a big airplane ride throw to make up for my momma mistake on Senior Night.

With my guy in perfect position I locked him up and launched him over the top.

But instead of a graceful ballet-like beautiful motion with a tight arch, I flat-backed and he fell on me for the win.

My coach cut loose after the last handshake and kept it up while I got my warm-ups on.

I didn’t mind since I was already giving myself a good yelling at in my mind.

What did he say? The same thing I was telling myself. If I’d played it safe and won I’d have a better seed at district.

But I did meet the same guy in the district finals.

Yelled At Review

You might get yelled at for something you did.

You might get yelled at because someone thought you could do better.

Most of the time people who yell for a living don’t understand the effect of their loud words.

Ask me about Army Drill Sergeant yelling.