WANT TO DO RIGHT, BUT NOT RIGHT NOW?

Who wants to do right?

Start something and doing it right seems pretty basic.

But that’s not how things always turn out.

Then what happens?

My best guitar buddy and I have played together for years.

We’ve done open mics, stood on Hank Williams’ birthday show stage and sang songs. We played in garages, basements, and living rooms.

One day he opened up a box of new songs for us to learn. That’s why he’s my bestie; he hasn’t quit on me.

Look At Miss Ohio was one of the songs, and it feels tragic in a relatable sense. A small tragedy, almost a secret that most of us have felt.

Or heard.

Oh me oh my oh, look at Miss Ohio
She’s a running around with her rag-top down
She says I wanna do right but not right now

Gonna drive to Atlanta and live out this fantasy
Running around with the rag-top down
Yeah, I wanna do right but not right now

To anyone who has moved to start their life over, it rings sad and sweet for a lifetime.

And it proves one of my romantic theories: Everything depends on timing.

You can meet the perfect match, but it the timing isn’t right it’s an exercise in futility.

I spoke with a dad who said his PhD son is single at thirty-eight, but he found the love of his life while he was in school.

His total dedication to his studies fouled the love story, but not enough to ruin it.

That happened when his girlfriend started graduate school, too.

They didn’t have time or each other, even though they were a perfect match.

Do Right At The Right Time

The hard part of letting go are the lingering memories.

Who can you share those with? Your life partner? A bartender? Your dog?

Had your arm around her shoulder, a regimental soldier
An’ mamma starts pushing that wedding gown
Yeah, you wanna do right but not right now

In my soldier days I met a retired colonel who lived on Philadelphia’s Mainline.

He was a West Point son of a West Point man who had also been a colonel, “In the days when being a colonel meant something.”

I listened.

I was a Pfc, a role that hadn’t changed much over the years. Cannon fodder is always cannon fodder. I got it, and accepted the role.

The way the colonel saw it, me and my ilk were the backbone of our great nation. So I had that going for me. Which was nice.

2

He and his wife were empty nesters in 1975, but socially connected to WWII vets, the kind with huge portraits of themselves in uniform smoking a cigarette.

The paintings hung in their ‘drawings rooms.’ Every other house was one where George Washington slept.

So many of them I started wondering if old George had been narcoleptic.

My colonel and his wife were matchmakers for their friends’ daughters.

I was invited to dinner with them, all four of us around a table where George Washington may have sat.

Mrs. Colonel had a plan for the young people: “People don’t meet well these days. Let’s change that. You can meet young women in a supportive environment instead of on the street.”

Five times I had dinner with them. With five different young women who could have started their own Lonely Hearts Club.

It was all very cordial and proper. After dinner, and a proper amount of time, the girls went home while Mrs. Colonel and I discussed the evening.

The nights had a Mrs. Robinson feel to them.

I like to think they met the girls later to warn them about guys like me who would make promises and take them away from their families.

And I would have, but not with the girls who were twenty, like me, but going on forty.

Done Right The First Time

My big takeaway from those dinner dates was to be helpful.

I helped the matchmakers by showing up; helped the girls by not pushing them off their pedestals; and helped myself by learning how different people lived.

I know all about it, so you don’t have to shout it
I’m gonna straighten it out somehow
Yeah, I wanna do right but not right now

How do you ‘Do Right?’

There is someone somewhere looking for one person to match their dedication, someone who won’t quit on them because they would never quit.

You need to know what quitting feels like to not quit on someone.

That comes after telling them you want to do right, but not right now.

I hoped my Mainline girls listened when I explained it to them.

They would all make fine girlfriends and sturdy wives over the long haul with Mr. Right.

I was Mr. Right Now and I wasn’t sticking around.

2

Five years later I met a woman who wouldn’t quit on me.

I asked her to marry me. She said yes.

Then I quit on her, which wasn’t right, but no surprise.

The big surprise was she quit on me the moment I quit on her, like she knew I was a quitter and had a backup plan that didn’t include being demoted from fiancé back to girlfriend.

She told of her plan to start her life over, to move far away and dedicate herself to everything that wasn’t me.

Whoa ho ho ho ho ho, wait a minute.

No pleading, no bargaining, no desperate promises to be everything I wanted her to be?

She kicked me to the curb while I was kicking her to the curb?

How can that be possible?

Just the idea of it made me want to do right right now.

So I pleaded and bargained and made desperate promises.

Oh me oh my oh, look at Miss Ohio
She a runnin’ around with her rag-top down
She says I wanna do right , but not right now
Oh, I want do right but not right now

Can you relate?

How about now:

They never warn ya, about Miss California

She’s got a lot of love to share with you

But she can do right with or without you

Being her man is the best you’ll ever do

What’s your song? Let’s hear it.