THE HEATER AND THE OREGON HEAT

On a chilly Oregon Sunday, known as Wild Card Weekend in the NFL, my heater died. I had no Oregon heat. My palace was cold.

Like every writer known to man, I was working and didn’t notice until I felt the air conditioning kick in. Except the cool breeze came from the furnace fan, minus the heat part.

What to do?

Trouble shoot the problem based on available information. Nothing. Did it again. Nothing. So I called Four Seasons Heating and AC and $450 later I had heat. Thanks, Tim.

Oregon Heat

Early the next morning I heard a loud “WHUMP” and woke up to a warm room. Was it my heater blowing up? A transformer on a telephone line?

Or a concussion grenade? How did a concussion grenade come to mind?

It’s on the list of weird sounds I never want to hear in my castle.

Then I started hearing voices, people giving orders, people acknowledging orders. Very faint voices, and not all in my head.

“Honey, do you hear voices?” I asked.

“No.”

Maybe they were in my head only? But I heard more. Then I heard the grinding transmission of a heavy vehicle.

Why was the garbage truck rolling so early? Because it wasn’t a garbage truck.

With more voices and a big truck, I looked out the front window and saw a Blues Brothers worthy armada on the street.

The street was loaded with marked and unmarked cars idling empty with windshield wipers slapping back and forth.

One officer was talking into the open door of a box backed police truck sitting at my curb. Then I heard the grinding sound of the heavy vehicle and saw an armored car pull out of the side street.

The Bear

This was a first, though not the first time police have swarmed the area, which is why I checked my back lighting before I looked out the window. No silhouette is a good thing when people with guns are involved outside.

I talked to my police pals and they checked on the neighborhood. Nothing came up, but they told me about The Bear. So I checked further.

From celebritycars.com:

-2011 Ford F550 Short Frame 6.7L Turbo Diesel 
-21,436 Original Miles 
-New Tires with Military Grade Run-Flats – $10,116.00 upgrade 
-20,000 Lb Operating Weight 
-.50 Caliber Rated including windows and run-flats 
-Mil-Spec Steel Construction 
-Seats 10 – 12 in full gear 
-Rotating Gun Turret with Bullet Proof Plate 
-Police lights & Sirens plus PA  (currently disabled )
-Thermal / PTZ Camera 
-20 Feet of Battering Ram and Gas Deployment System 
-Full Life Support 
-Gun Ports on all Perimeters 
-Dual A/C units Front & Back 
-.50 Caliber Gas Operated Replica BMG

I looked like a modified Hummer, but sounded bigger.

Long Story Short

Maybe it was The Bear, maybe not, since an urban assault vehicle in a suburban neighborhood is unlikely.

A SWAT team was in the back of the box truck at my curb, and they weren’t alone.

The neighborhood chatter reported people with flashlights in the woods and inside a darkened house nearby. It was big police operation with all the fixings.

The final tally:

Swat team in a box truck, the Bear armored car, dogs, concussion grenade, street full of police and cars. Ambulances. Real busy. Two arrested from a nice house two doors down the road.

Oregon heat wasn’t about climate change, more about a life change.