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PASS THE HALF ASS, PLEASE?

February 12, 2016 by

The Math: 1/2 Ass + 1/2 Ass = 0. Or, > half ass. You’re thinking two halves equal a whole. Most of the time that’s true. In this equation it’s also true, but with extras: In an unprecedented alpha-numeric formula worthy of Einstein-level research, two half-asses equal a whole. An a-hole. In our regular lives […]

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KING OF THE HILL IN NORTH BEND, OREGON

January 9, 2016 by

People know the place when you say you’re from North Bend. Ask someone where there from and you expect one answer, one place. Then you get this: “I grew up all over the place.” Hear that and know you’ve got someone ashamed of where they’re from. They know the name of their town, they just […]

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A REAL FOOTBALL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP CONVERSATION

January 8, 2016 by

If your team’s not in the college football national championship, who do you cheer for? “What are the teams playing for the college football national championship?” Alabama and Clemson. “Clemson? Where are they from?” It’s South Carolina’s version of Oregon State. “So it’s South Carolina?” That’s where Clemson is. South Carolina are the Gamecocks. You […]

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL COMPARED TO SINGERS

January 4, 2016 by

College football feels like singers, but which ones? College football has one steadfast rule when comparing teams: you can’t compare eras. You need to compare teams and their times instead of one decade to the next. But you can compare college football to lady singers of the same era. This era comparison includes Beyonce, Adele, […]

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THE OREGON WAY OF OREGON DUCK FOOTBALL FANS

December 31, 2015 by

The right Oregon Duck football uniform makes all the difference. The experienced Oregon fan knows the drill by now. It’s not the first post-season, but one that matters more. Someone else plays for the national championship, or the semi-finals to get in. Oregon football made the run last years, right up to the end. This […]

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OREGON DUCK FOOTBALL MISSION

October 30, 2015 by

Win The Game And Win The Hearts And Minds. Mostly The Minds. Oregon Duck football left Arizona with a triple overtime win last night. This is a team recognized in the past five years as a fashion trendsetter. Add two appearances in the college football finals, BCS and otherwise, and the Ducks come away looking […]

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OREGON SPORTS HALL OF FAME

October 21, 2015 by

When You Finally Make The Oregon Sports Hall Of Fame Team, What’s Next? How do you make it to the Oregon Sports Hall Of Fame? The same way you make it to Carnegie Hall, you practice. No one gets there accidentally. Just like it takes more than a few words to write a sports column, […]

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A LAKE OSWEGO FOOTBALL COMMENT

October 15, 2015 by

Warning: Adult Language And Profanity Regarding Lake Oswego Football. Last year Lake Owego football suspended ten players for team rules violation. This year LO suspended thirty players for conduct outside the team rules agreement they signed. I see it as a type of non-disclosure statement, except it’s between the players and the team. A BoomerPDX […]

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A NEW WORLD OF SPORTS

October 14, 2015 by

The New World Of Sports Forgot This? The world of sports turns at the same speed for everyone, though the Oregon Duck football season seems to spin faster than other seasons. And it should. You get that in a sport with fewer games, greater risk, and rabid enthusiasm than other sports. It goes even further. […]

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THE SPORTS DREAM

October 8, 2015 by

What Happens To Sports Dreams? Dreams never die. They don’t fall over. The don’t sit down and never get up. Dreams don’t stop breathing. Too often it’s us. We give up, try to forget, or redirect. The worst is trying to  pretend you never had the dream that won’t stop haunting your sleep. Drive by […]

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