STAYING HEALTHY IN A TIME OF SICKNESS? RIDE HARD

Staying healthy online is a mixed bag of clickbait advice.

See an interesting headline, click it, and suddenly a slideshow turns up and down the hole we go.

An hour later, or ten minutes that feels like an hour, you learn how to max out biceps, widen your chest, build crusher thighs, all while keeping a trim waistline.

Now that we know so much about staying healthy online, what’s next? Either find more interesting ideas, or get up and do something.

What happens next is a telling reveal. BoomerPdx readers, I’m looking at you. Be a do-er.

The top image is a family picture of twin loggers. They lived in a logging town. The tree was a favorite picture stop to show what the work looked like.

One of them is my grandpa on my dad’s side. The grandpa on my mom’s side was also a logger. They all knew each other.

Since I’ve been a grandpa for two weeks, I know all about grandpas. Know-it-alls don’t waste much time knowing it all.

Staying Healthy Know-It-All

I’m married to a naturopathic doctor, so based on my experience being a know-it-all, I’ve absorbed so much knowledge just being around her, like a leave on a tree absorbing energy from the sun just by hanging around.

Call me photosynthetic.

What has landed hardest and stuck longest is the concept of movement, as in get off your butt and shake it. Some concept, right?

I’ll walk you through the sequence.

First, lower the leg lift on the recliner. Don’t stand up with that thing sticking out or you’ll tip the chair over. Ask me how I know.

Once you’re on your feet, shed the idea that what you’re about to do is a lonely drag you wish was over already. Not saying you’re wrong, but it’s just a hurdle, a low hurdle.

I put a stationary bike near the top photo so I can take the guys along for a ride. That’s my peloton in the Tour de Dave. Saddle up, boys.

No Fancy Outfit Needed

Adjust the bike and hop on and start pedaling.

Check behind you for the competition because they are on you.

Go ahead and taunt them a little, but remember, they are loggers and you don’t want an angry logger chasing you.

Or, do you?

Stand Up For Staying Healthy

Bike riding usually includes a few hills. That’s where you get separation from the peloton.

Give them on of these:

“If you can’t stand the heat, stay on your seat.”

After that, check the guy’s expressions. Do they look angry? They’ve alway looked angry.

Now they’re pissed at you for pulling away from them.

Playing Catch Up

Grab the handle bars tightly and bare down.

You’ve warmed up, got comfortable in the lead, now keep it.

For extra motivation, lean on the old saw of, “There’s always someone somewhere doing what you’re doing, but doing it better than you.”

Go for the burn in staying healthy.

Cooling Down After The Win

Check the time. If you’ve gone hard long enough, take a few minutes to spin a cool down.

The others eventually show up. Be a good winner and congratulate them on their ride.

Give them tips on how they can set a Personal Record. Just don’t mention their pants and boots. They are loggers and that’s what loggers wear.

Let them know you couldn’t have done it without their help; tell them if they work harder and improve they can share some of the winnings, starting with hydration.

Aim them toward water while you aim for this:

Tell the guys, “Beer is for winners. Better luck next time.”

But when is next time? Sooner than later, like maybe tomorrow?

Drink that beer in front of the men and make a show of enjoying it more than you’ve ever enjoyed anything. Make some noise.

After the glass is empty, pour another one. You are a winner, and to the winner goes the rewards; to the victor goes the spoils.

Give it a Latin spin with, “Vade ad victor spolia.”

That gets the fellas all fired up. Now they think you think you’re better than them. Are you?

Staying healthy is the key.