SPEED SHOPPING. GOOD IDEA?

Speed shopping with your partner.

Ever heard of it?

I gave it a try in a Safeway that sits between two over-55 communities.

My speed shopping there made me look like The Flash.

There was only one problem: I didn’t reveal my plan to my wife.

Uh oh.

Since it’s Oregon, the rain decided to take the dog to the park first or hit the store first.

No rain meant dog walk first. It was raining.

Since we take leisurely walks in the park, and it would be wet, I decided to load up on steps in the store.

Off I went to the far reaches for items on the list that I brought back to the cart.

We usually have a leisurely pace in the store too. Not this time.

I speed walked the store carrying single items for the most steps possible while she kept our usual pace.

Wife thought I’d had a medical breakdown.

 

Communication Breakdown

By the time we got to check-out she had questions.

The questions continued through the parking lot.

Once we got in the car I explained everything in minute detail.

The privacy of the car kept me from sounding like a fitness kook who looks at every moment as a workout opportunity.

 

Wife: You’ve changed. I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

Me: I speed walked the store.

Wife: You’ve never done that. Are you okay?

Me: Yes. but maybe I need to make an appointment to learn how to explain to you that I was speed shopping, not lolly gagging.

Wife: What?

Me: I decided to step it up. Next time I’ll tell you and we can both do it.

Wife: That’s not how I shop.

Me: Let’s head to the park.

Wife: Not if that’s what you’re going to do.

 

Helpful Reminders

As a writer writing a blog like BoomerPdx, everything has potential inspiration.

Speed shopping seemed like a good idea.

It was for me, not so much for my wife.

After a thorough explanation of, “No, I’m not hyped up on some dangerous drugs, gone crazy, or trying to escape spending time together, but I am working on my metabolism,” we made up and apologized.

Then the over-the-top request:

“If your apology is supposed to stick, if you want it to mean something, then let’s get back in the car and take the dog out.”

Which she did, but instead of the original destination I drove to Sunset Park.

We shared a lovely walk. Afterward she drove home and I walked back with the dog for extra steps.

Congratulations to us for a successful conclusion to a stressful weekend.

 

A Real Resolution To Speed Shopping

For a happy marriage, a real marriage, you need to talk it out to each other’s satisfaction.

I knew what was what. If my wife had done what I did, it would have been funny.

I would have joined in with no explanation.

You want to speed things up? Let’s go.

But why not explain the plan first? Even it seems perfectly obvious, lay it out.

The most interesting part came with the cashier.

 

“Do you need bags?”

“I’ve got bags.”

 

She put my groceries on the treadmill so I hustled to the end of the counter and started speed bagging like crazy.

You can do this if you unload the cart with the cans and jars first, then the soft stuff.

It fit right in with my speed shopping, which had already proved annoying.

Events moved toward a happy ending.

Eventually.

I was reminded of the Covid lockdown where the checkout at Costco had the same quick pace.

If it were a contest, I won Safeway and Costco. But it’s not a contest.

What did I win? A greater understanding of shopping together.

Will shop together again? Maybe.