SLOVEMBER OR GATEWAY COUNSELING?

Slovember is for everyone who failed Sober October.

Also for those planning a Drunk December, a Jacked Up January, and Fall Down February.

If you’re a compulsive boozer, or stand-up stoner, slow down.

No one his saying, “STOP YOUR STUPID SHIT.”

At least not out loud.

Who needs a nice long Slovember?

Hard liquor comes in sizes ranging from a quick pop airplane bottle to a half gallon with a handle.

If you buy the big bottle, then funnel it down to a smaller one, you might want to think about Slovember.

“It makes for sense for the liquor cabinet storage,” they say.

If you have a liquor cabinet, and a place to store the family-sized bottles, I’ll do the math:

You have two liquor cabinets.

Some people have two washers and two dryers to avoid packing dirty clothes up and down a long stairway from one side of the house to the other.

With two booze-filled stations you’d be lucky to make it up the stairs once on a big night of drinking.

 

The Big Booze Night

How much booze makes for a big night?

When you go numb and can’t pour a straight shot?

Your normal amount is all grown up from using a shot glass to pouring straight from the bottle because you know how to count?

1001, 1002, 1003, and done.

But you don’t feel the effect you’re looking for.

What effect is that?

If it’s the slow breaking feel of ‘fuck it, I’ll have another,’ you could be a candidate for alcohol counseling.

But you don’t want the stigma of AA?

If your life is on the skids, what stigma?

You drank your liver to death and got a new one so you could continue drinking?

Red Flag, bro.

You find yourself living in an accumulated pile of worthless crap because, “You never know when you might need an extra fridge broken down on the front lawn.”

Red Flag II.

All of your friends tell you to back off the booze, to turn it down.

Which is why you don’t have friends anymore.

 

Add Dab To The Mix

A famous country singer had a good friend who told him to slow down on the alcohol.

Being a good friend is often a challenge, but this time country boy slowed down.

“But I still smoke weed,” he said.

To which his buddy said, “That just means you’re a dry drunk.”

Which ended their friendship.

 

People don’t want to hear about their problems. Your problems, though? That’s okay since you don’t have a problem.

But what happens when a big drinker who likes to light up to slow the swerve can’t get what they want, even though they try and try?

More booze and weed? Or cross the Gateway Threshold to the harder stuff?

What would that be? Everclear and orange juice combined with a puff of crystal?

Those seeking a higher, more immediate burst of THC potency can also put THC crystals directly into a dab rig.

A dab rig is a smoking device that vaporizes heated cannabis concentrates, allowing them to be inhaled in measured doses.

THC crystals can also mix with other cannabis concentrates or concentrated terpenes to boost their potencies or obtain more targeted effects.

 

Expensive champagne and kief?

 

Gateway Drug Counseling

Once you graduate to the dab rig, what’s the next rig?

A needle and a spoon?

Why fuck around in the minor leagues of altered reality when you can get loaded and pass out, nod out, check out?

Too afraid you won’t wake up? Makes sense to me.

Before you take that nap, use Slovember for a wakeup call.

 

I knew a couple my age who liked to party hard.

It always started with surprisingly good food, which came out, wasn’t eaten, and went into the fridge.

Why was no one hungry? Cocaine is why. Party with the big timers took a sharp turn toward Columbia.

The second time I saw them they’d made the responsible decision to replace cocaine with meth.

I asked why?

“Because it’s cheaper and lasts longer.”

“Then I’ve got one last question and I don’t mean to hurt any feelings. What’s going on tomorrow? Any plans?”

Like typical hard drug people, they said they were sleeping it off the next day.

Others in the room looked like they had the same plan.

My plan? I was getting up early to write, then take the family out for fun times instead of, “Why do my parents stay in bed all day?”

The party people didn’t have kids to answer to; I wasn’t giving mine a chance to ask that question.

 

I’m no drug counselor but if you or a loved looks like they’re slipping away into a world you don’t know with people you’ve never seen, give them a head’s up.

What is that?

It’s a chance to review where they are so they can get to a better place than their next next drink, their next dab, their next hit.

Get there too late and the hits add up and you won’t find a ‘there’ to get to.

Baby boomers have seen the process close up, maybe too close.

 

In memory of Kip B.