SHOWING RESPECT TO READERS

How often is showing respect an afterthought?

It happens when you start taking things and people for granted.

Not everyone has had the same advantages so respect means something different to them.

But we’re talking about you.

When you make plans with others and don’t follow through, if you change plans without telling, you’re being disrespectful.

Do that often enough and you’ll need to cycle through a new batch of friends, or have none at all.

That’s when you have ‘old friends’ and ‘dear friends’ and ‘friends for life’ who you’ve known less than a year.

In one way you’re bringing a level of comfort to a new relationship.

You could say, “Hey, you’re all right. Stick around,” but you’re a grown adult, not the playground kingpin in fourth grade breaking in the new kid to the fun group at recess.

Or you could say, “I like your company.”

Just don’t say, “You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”

If I’m showing respect to my readers I’ll show why someone is a ‘best friend’, not tell it.

Learn How Showing Respect Works

Joining the Army in 1974 was a lesson in showing respect.

I was raised by a former Marine Drill Instructor so I was familiar with some of it before I went in.

The main thing I knew was how to shut the hell up.

Every question doesn’t need a smart-assed answer, or any answer at all.

“Have you shined your brass and polished your shoes?” doesn’t need an answer.

They know you haven’t, you know you haven’t, and now you’re about to find out what happens.

You fucked around, now you’re finding out. That’s how it works.

We had a guy who made mistakes the whole platoon had to pay for.

Then the whole platoon made him pay. It wasn’t pretty, but he took it okay.

Eventually we all understood how rank works: You can despise the man but you must respect the uniform, especially if it’s worn by a ninety day wonder enamored of their power to make lesser rank salute them.

Different regions of America have code words for respect, or lack of respect.

In some places it’s “Why bless your heart.”

Other places it’s, “How’s that working for you?”

Or, “Let’s try a different way.”

Respect When It Matters

I was a sports dad when my kids were growing up.

My wife was a sports mom, and so much more like all moms.

One evening my son had a wrestling match. His opponent was awkward and threw him to the mat in an awkward way.

My kid posted his arm to counter the throw and his elbow dislocated.

One thing led to another and I was in the emergency room with him while the doctor worked to reduce the elbow joint. I think that’s what they called it.

He wasn’t having any luck and the drugs that knocked my kid out were going to wear off and he’d need to see a surgeon after that.

Me: How would you feel about giving the other doctor on duty a chance before we call the surgeon?

Doc: It’s not going back in.

Me: You’re doing a great job, but maybe the other guy could bring it home. Just a thought.

Doc: I’ve done this before and it worked out fine.

Me: There’s the other doctor. What should I say to him?

Doc: I’ll consult with him.

They spoke out of ear-range, looked in at me.

I waved and shrugged my shoulders.

Both docs came intro the room, one sweating from the effort he put into my kid’s elbow, the other fresh and relaxed.

In less than thirty seconds the second doc popped the elbow back into it’s socket or joint where it belonged.

I thanked them both, then separately, then both, then thanked them all again. I was the most thankful sports dad in the state of Oregon.

I started with respect, ended with respect, and got out of there and back to the wrestling matches where the injured kid got to sit with his girlfriend.

Showing respect won that day.

When has it won your day?