Older Boomer Means Old. Then What?

And None Of The Rest Of You Are Off The Hook Either.

Old School Hotel Lobby

Maybe it’s just me, but the age limit for elder complaints seems to be dropping fast.

Just yesterday no one I knew talked about the health problems.

Medical procedures? What’s that?

Try talking about a trip to the dentist. Wait, don’t.

What is the worst old boomer talk of all?

Enjoying life.

Can you believe that? Enjoying life? Isn’t that sitting somewhere, then driving somewhere else to sit?

While you’re enjoying life on a cruise ship, you take pictures and promise to share them. Then you get sick from the food and lose your camera.

You try to enjoy a European trip but get pneumonia from a bad air conditioner, feel grateful it’s not Legionnaire’s Disease, and spend a week in a public hospital.

Bike riding seems enjoyable until the seat gives you a rash.

Walking in the woods was fun until poison oak crawled up your leg.

Enjoying life isn’t easy.

A dude ranch was on your bucket list until you found out you’re allergic to horses.

So what do you do?

Why not avoid seconds at every meal, the bowls of cereal you eat late at night when you can’t sleep, and the excessive beers you drink because they taste so good.

Learn to be strong. Lift weights the right way and find the target range for your pulse. No one says ‘roid up so you look good next to a Harley with your shirt off, just be prepared.

Find things that make you feel viable, that make you forget how old you are while you’re doing them.

Try this and see who notices. You’ll notice, and that’s enough. Baby boomers need to be their own fan without drawing the sort of attention that says, ‘Grow Up.’

We’ve got that one figured out. Now let’s party in the ballroom.

(All images from inside the Portland Benson Hotel.)