NO SATISFACTION? KEEP GOING

In the biggest moments of your life, or mine, there is often no satisfaction.

People just can’t get the story right, and it’s not that hard.

This was the biggest headline my last name ever got, and it’s missing the most important part.

But it’s spelled it right? That’s my take away?

I’ll take it.

That was from 1973, such a long, long time ago.

How long?

Ask anyone from that long-ago era how long ago it was and the answers might surprise you.

Back then we had it all in front of us. We could be anyone, anything, anywhere, dreaming the dream of a beautiful future for one and all.

 

Then the ‘big moments,’ the kind of BIG MOMENTS that matter to one and all, come into focus.

Have you done a personal inventory lately to see how far you’ve come, and how you celebrated each milestone?

Before you start, remind yourself that any sense of self-worth won’t be noted correctly in social media, and if it is . . . you still might not like it.

I’ll set the tone for this exercise.

 

Don’t Be A Whiner

If you can’t get no satisfaction, try and get what you need.

You need constant adulation, unbounded love, and being worshipped like you are the second coming?

Around the clubhouse we say ‘that’s some mental shit there that needs adjusting.’

That’s a lot of need, way too much need, and if that’s you, get some counseling.

Talk to a professional and you may learn that those serving up adulation, love, and worship may not be who you think they are.

You can’t always get what you want, but do you need all that? Nooooo

So find someone to talk to.

 

“Oh sure, BloggyD, like you’d know.”

What I do know is the husbandry pride I’ve felt welling up every time I went to marriage counseling with my wife.

We’ve agreed, and continue to agree, to improve our relationship, communication, and empathy for each other.

Call it an aspirational goal like the clothes that used to fit . . . and might again.

 

Counselor: Have a seat and let’s see if we can save this marriage.

Me: Thank you, counselor. Our marriage isn’t dying. Let’s start there.

Wife: We’d like to learn new tools to build with, not a complete teardown.

Counselor: What I mean to say is . . .

Me: Oh, we heard you with your hero approach. If we were trying to ‘save our marriage’ would we be going to some guy running an office out of a basement in the suburbs?

Wife: That’s right. We’d be in a medical building with offices and an elevator and real therapists with waiting rooms.

Counselor: Let’s start over. How can I help you?

Wife: We’d like to learn about new ways to be a better couple.

Me: Didn’t you just tell him that? Ok, counselor, I’ll start. She thinks I spend too much time with our kids, that I like the dog better than her, and that her pants make her butt look too big. I say no, how about you?

Wife: He’s the counselor, let him do his job.

Me: Right. She also thinks I talk too much, but isn’t that what we’re really here for in the long run? More talk, better understanding?

Counselor: Yes, but . . .

Me: This is great. Let’s wrap things up. Honey, you ready?

Wife: We just got here.

 

When No Satisfaction Is Just Right

Not so long ago I completed a trip I deserved a medal for.

Problem: We had a great long distance car that hadn’t gone far.

Solution: Take that drive, pick up the wife halfway, and drive back. Half way was Santa Fe.

My plan was taking the dog along and driving until I got tired of the road and find a room for the night.

This was to be my late in life walk about, except in a car.

My wife knew me well enough to know I might not get a room, so she reserved rooms along the way based on how far she would drive in a day.

Unknown to me, she also had me on the phone tracker so she knew where I was the whole time.

Did it ruin the experience? Nooooo

Did it make me love her just a little more? It did.

I got the satisfaction of cruising the Wild West first with the dog, than dog and wife.

We covered a lot of ground together: Portland to Boise to Salt Lake to Gallup to Santa Fe back to Gallup to Phoenix to Monument Valley to Baker to Portland.

 

PS:

Just when you get what you want, things change, you change, and you get something different, better, something you didn’t know or understand.

 

PSS:

What is it? You get what you need, pal. That’s what you get. Sometimes it comes with satisfaction, other times no satisfaction.

Either way, it’s yours and you’ve got it.

Then what? You might win a medal and get a headline? Nooooo

But, if you do? Get the medal from the current two-time college national champion in your weight class, and beat his little brother along the way.

If it’s a gold medal and no one knows, does it still matter?

I got a pink ribbon for placing sixth in state one year and it still matters.