NEW IDEA GETS OLD TOO SOON?

Remember that new idea that was going to change everything?

It was so obvious, so perfect. What happened?

You forgot about it, didn’t write it down.

Or one of your trusted sources said, “Your new idea will never work.”

Instead of following through and finding out on your own, someone’s opinion put you off.

Forget about it, don’t waste your time on it.

As kids it easy to let go of new things because there are so many of them.

New things pop up every day and it’s hard to keep track.

As parents we want what’s best for our kids.

Being an overbearing jackass is not good for any kids, so what are there so many around?

Because some adults know what’s better for other people than people know for themselves.

Okay, Boomer? Okay, Karen?

When my kids were still pre-school I looked around for the best role models, the best advice.

One of my kids went off in Safeway once because they didn’t get the freshest, hand picked, hand squeezed, orange juice.

I don’t get that stuff for myself. If I wanted it, I’d buy oranges and squeeze them myself, not trust some bottler to pull one over at twice the price.

My kid really wanted the OJ, and screamed about as loud as a four year old could scream.

I was in grocery check out while my oldest dragged my youngest past an older man.

The older man leaned forward with what I hoped were encouraging words to help me cope.

Instead, the old fucker screamed in my kid’s face with, “WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP.’

I excused myself from checking out and collected my kid, who looked a little shocky.

The old man looked at me with an expression that said, “That’s how you do it, sissy boy.”

What I wanted to do was grab him by his coat front from opposite sides like Judo and use them to squeeze his neck until his face turned purple, until he was out of breath, until he found a better way to talk to little kids.

Instead I asked him a few questions.

I held my kid away in my left arm, and spoke over my right shoulder.

Into his smug, self-assured face, I said, “Who screams at kids like that? The same guy that goes home and kicks his dog. The same guy who goes home and beats his wife. That’s who. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Not for getting old, but for staying stupid. You are a very stupid, stupid, man. A bully. A god-damned bully. I hope you die, you piece of geriatric shit.”

Was I wrong to do that? It may not have been as bad as I remember, but it could have been worse, too.

I was wrong. Once we got to the car I checked with the kids.

“Did Daddy say any bad words?”

“You said them all.”

“Let’s not tell Mom.”

But they did.

 

New Idea For Old Problems

It’s good to know when to keep quiet.

Not saying you ought to shut up, but it’s still good to know when silence works better than any words at the moment.

At the same time, what do you do with someone who can’t turn it off, who can’t be quiet, who can’t, well, STFU?

You need a mental filter that shuts down on it’s own when then talk is overwhelming.

Auto shutdown.

What did they say? Who knows?

Consider all of the good advice you’ve ever heard.

Even if it’s good, enough is enough. You need time to think, not more new ideas.

I heard a new idea about losing weight. Me losing weight, you losing weight, everybody losing weight.

The new idea? Eat less, exercise more.

Are you shocked, stunned, flabbergasted?

Me, too.

Every time I’ve used an event as a reason to lose a few pounds, I’ve gained about ten extra pounds.

My high school reunion was just such an event, and why not go in trim?

Me: Ten extra pounds on the money.

Wife: Ten pound gain? You don’t look any different.

Me: Where is it?

Wife:

 

New Idea On Fat Shaming

If I drink a beer I know it will show up somewhere, like my gut, love handles, my fat back.

Add eating like a hog to drinking beer and it’ll show up everywhere.

I’ve been prepping for a doctor visit the past week.

I cut back on everything five days before the fasting blood draw Thursday.

Over the weekend I let it fly, drinking and cooking and eating to the point of worry.

I was so worried that yesterday I spent all morning cooking, all afternoon eating, all evening drinking.

It was great.

At the doctor’s office I weighed in five pounds lighter than six months ago with the same numbers on everything else.

Now I’m thinking that’s proof enough to not change a thing, and at the same time realizing I’d get results if I did make small changes.

Should I find a body building competition a few months out? A walking race?

What kind or challenge wouldn’t add to my girth like usual?

Eating less and more exercise sounds like a plan, but that’s always the plan.

I could lose weight and post speedo swimsuit pictures here? It’s my blog, so I could.

But it’s not that kind of blog, not a look at me, me, me, kind of blog.

Well, wait a minute. It actually is the kind of blog.

The difference I’m shooting for is getting you to look at yourself in a new way.

Why not make a plan with others and follow through?

If you’ve got a touch of musical talent and you practice, why not do a show?

Find people with similar interests, like telling a story, and have a story time?

If you’ve got some songs to sing, find someone to play with and join the story tellers.

Summer is a good time; Saturday is a good day.

What’s stopping you?