MILLENNIALS NEED BOOMER ‘LEAVING LESSON’

 

 

Leaving Lesson for the younger generation? Stick around.

Once upon a time solving problems was simple.

If something didn’t go your way, you left.

The first class for Leaving Lessons explains how it works.

You’ll learn the best time to bail is not a year on a calendar, but an age.

20 – 28

After that the scenery changes on those who keep leaving.

The map you find etched on the faces of boomers who keep leaving after the slightest affront looks like one of those 3D topography pieces of the Pacific Northwest.

Lots of mountains and valleys, clear cuts and gorges, on those mugs.

Maybe yours, too.

LEAVING LESSON #1 @20

By age 20 you get a feel for adult power.

Without leaving lessons it’s an easy power to abuse.

Some baby boomers partied hard in college, a little too hard, and ended up on probation.

Mummsie and Popsie call and tell them to straighten out or else they’ll stop sending tuition, room, and board.

And party funds.

To show their new power, young boomer leaves.

They drop out and swim in Oly until someone notices.

The only people who’ll notice get more wasted than you, so stay in school.

LEAVING LESSON #2 @24

You’re on a job for a couple years.

You’ve been doing the work of two people from the same desk while your supervisor sleeps in the bathroom.

The raise you’ve been waiting for doesn’t arrive, so you ask the boss.

He explains it patiently with, “If we pay you what you deserve, we couldn’t afford to pay Barney as much.”

You’ve been doing Barney’s job for the last year and half and feel robbed.

Barney says you’ve doing fine. “You can always wake me in the stall with a question. This is how I started on Wall Street.”

So you quit and start over. You leave.

Quitting a job abruptly leaves a bad taste for future hiring managers.

Give notice after you find another job.

LEAVING LESSON #3 @28

Everyone you know is married. Some with kids.

But not you. Oh, no, not you.

Instead, you break up with some of the best women you’ll ever know.

The last one had a face like a silent movie star when a face told a story.

Her story was finding the right guy for a life of fun and excitement.

You knew you weren’t the right guy, but you were close. So you gave it a go.

(That’s what we say in America when we fake feelings. Give it a go.)

Instead of leaving, you needed her to see through you and leave first.

Being the one who doesn’t leave comes at a cost.

Show honest emotions and expect the same.

LEAVING LESSON #4

You can’t drive another human being away and not expect something back.

If you do after age 28 what you did between 20 – 28, look for some of those mountains and valleys, clear cuts and gorges.

===

Imagine living months, years, with someone acting like they care.

But they don’t, and you can’t tell the difference between the real thing and the act.

Someone’s heading for a clear cut.

===

Hearing the word, “I Never Loved You,” at the end of a break-up stings.

They sound like the truest words you’ve ever heard, and explain so much.

Say that to someone who thinks you love them?

That’s a gorge starting to spread on their face.

===

Whether you’re married, in a relationship, or on the first date in your life, do your peer group a favor.

Please don’t put on a big show if it’s not authentic.

They may not detect your fake love, but the next person will detect bitterness and hurt.

Don’t stick them with that because you’re a good actor.

Preying on emotions destroys trust and alters the landscape.

===

Plant seeds of doubt early for a ripe harvest of suspicion.

You’ve seen them, met them, probably been one of them: people with a missing chunk you can’t see until you look long enough.

Sometimes it takes a lifetime.

LEAVING LESSON #5

It’s not too early for millennials to decide to stop leaving and find something real.

Not too late for boomers to re-invent themselves.

Why not get together and compare notes?

Take a box of retro-beer to help the boomers remember.

After a couple of Olympias everyone will leave it alone.