JOINT REPLACEMENT: LEG BONE CONNECTED TO THE EDIBLES

Any joint replacement sounds painful. From cars to people, joints gone bad are never good.

A bad car joint affects other parts, so does a bad human joint.

The best plan is staying ahead of problems before they spread. It’s always been been the best plan for everything. So get fixed.

What’s the biggest part of joint replacement? The doctor? No, you, and here’s why:

Recovering from a total joint replacement can be painful. Icing, elevation, and medication can help. The pain will improve with time. It’s a normal part of the healing process.

The pain will improve over time?

I would change that to, “The pain will decrease over time,” or, “The pain will lessen over time,” or, “The pain will not last forever,” or, “It won’t hurt as much as it did,” or, “You’ll feel pain, but a different pain.”

Doctors have heard it all and work to cover as much information in as few words possible. I respect that.

Besides, saying ‘improve’ creates a positive feel, which will come in handy soon enough.

Improving Pain Medication

Before I headed into the operating room, I stopped by the weed store and picked up a supply of edibles.

My plan was to stack a 50mg THC and 50MG CBD along with the prescribed stack of the anti-inflammatory and pain reducers Aleve and Tylenol.

You know what they say in pain management? Stay ahead of the pain.

To no surprise, opiates were on the table. Oxy. Oxy something.

If there’s anything oxy is made for it must be joint replacement.

But I’m not an oxy guy, I’m a pain management stoner guy.

Went in for a hip at 10:30, out at 4:00.

I unwrapped the edibles as soon as I got home and every morning since.

Are Opiates Better Pain Management For Joint Replacement?

Since no one mentions edibles, you’d think opiates are it for something as painful sounding as joint replacement.

And you’d be right. Who doesn’t want a bottle of knockout for back-up?

The pain I expected? A searing, aching, gut-wrenching wave of nausea sort of pain.

I expected the worst pain of my life, which hasn’t been all that painful to tell the truth, but sawing off the top of a leg bone and jamming a metal spike in sounded bad.

Images of Civil War surgeries flashed in my mind. Where’s my stick to bite down on?

After ten days that wave never broke. I give credit to all pain medications, but mainly to the edibles.

They saved the day when I went through the grind of chemo and radiation for neck cancer, so I wanted to give them a chance this time.

Two for two on the scorecard.

Is Joint Replacement That Painful?

From the evidence presented, like tendon strains, muscle pain, bruising, and the big one, the incision, here’s what I think happened:

They unhook your leg, expose the leg bone, trim it up, install the spike along with the lining in the hip bone socket, and close.

It sounds painful as hell, but the edibles kept it away away from the sharp edges, along with Tylenol and Aleve.

Call me happily surprised.

A Word On Marijuana (cannabis)

While this may not sound like a most militant demand for legalized weed at the federal level, let’s do a quick drug inventory:

Schedule One: heroin, lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), marijuana (cannabis), 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (ecstasy), methaqualone, and peyote.

Schedule Two: (Vicodin), cocaine, methamphetamine, methadone, hydromorphone (Dilaudid), meperidine (Demerol), oxycodone (OxyContin), fentanyl, Dexedrine, Adderall, and Ritalin

Schedule Three: (Tylenol with codeine), ketamine, anabolic steroids, testosterone.

Schedule Four: Xanax, Soma, Darvon, Darvocet, Valium, Ativan, Talwin, Ambien, Tramadol.

Schedule Five: cough preparations with less than 200 milligrams of codeine or per 100 milliliters (Robitussin AC), Lomotil, Motofen, Lyrica, Parepectolin.

2

Drug addiction hits as close to home as the room across the hall, or the image in the mirror, but something seems off.

Weed sits on the kingpin list, #1 public nuisance, during a march to the grave with opioid addiction.

Marijuana reigns over the sideshow of Benzodiazepine, benzo, drug addiction?

I’ve read enough screeds against Big Pharma to feel immunized, but what else can you call some of the scheduled drugs but products of Big Pharma?

And there’s weed up there in the #1 slot.

What qualifies the bad stuff for #1?

Schedule I drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse. 

Call me a public enemy but I found using edibles to take the edge off of joint replacement currently acceptable.