HOW PERSONALITY AFFECTS HPV16 GYM COMMUNICATION

I heard a story about a man from a good communication source:

My kid told me an older man at my gym with an outgoing personality told him he had the same thing I had, meaning hpv16 neck cancer, throat cancer, tongue cancer, he wasn’t specific but it was cancer in the body part between his shoulders and his head.

Sort of like me, but not me. And I’m probably older.

Saturday I met the man. He was as cheerful as anyone who ever showed up to sweat it out. More cheerful.

“See my scar?” he said. “Does it look bad?

“Not really,” I said. “It looks like regular neck stuff.”

Yes, I could see his scar, but that wasn’t the point of the talk. That we talked at all was different since he seemed to do gym things other than lift.

I’m a lifter, not an exerciser.

“I had the same thing you had,” he said.

“Tell me about it?”

One thing I learned from an hpv16 cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery is be a good listener. I practice when I’m not busy running my mouth.

“I got robotic surgery, laser, and lymph glands removed,” he said, which explained the scar.

“Take it from the start. When did you know something was wrong?” I asked.

“It was fast. First it was a lump, then surgery,” he said.

“This was after the biopsy, the CT scan, the PET scan, the fine needle work, the port surgery, the chemo and radiation?” I asked.

“Nope, they saw it and went after it, and here I am,” he said.

“Did you lose any weight?”

“Look at me, ten pounds lighter. I look like a stick,” he said.

“So no stomach feeding tube, or nose tube? No food aversions or the sort of nausea that makes you feel like death warmed over, no…?” I asked before he cut me off.

“None of it, just cancer gone.”

We talked a little more and then I did the one thing I’ve never done in the gym: we hugged it out on in the middle of the weight room and I was the instigator.

What the hell, right? Cancer brotherhood deserves a hug, but he was surprised.

So was I.

He said Trump was his hero, and he was proud to say it, but a Muslim guy still made him food after saying he didn’t like Trump.

I watched him work the floor for more welcome backs; it was his first day there in a week and he was ecstatic. He carried great energy and was ready to join the cancer communication, the idea that cancer can be beat.

When he circled back around to me I asked him if he thought the fitness foundation he got from the gym carried over to cancer treatment success.

His answer, “100%. The doctors were shocked to see how well I responded and it’s from the gym.”

The Gym Edge

I had an urge to talk more, ask more question, to open up our medical communication to more detail, but I resisted.

Another thing I learned about cancer: If you talk about yourself, the other person will change the subject off of you as soon as they can and tell you about their mom, their dad, their dog or cat, their neighbor, a story they read, anything to keep from hearing such dreadful cancer talk.

As a result, I didn’t ask about hpv16, sex cancer, Michael Douglas, or anything. He talked it out and moved on. I’ve heard people tell me their story when I was in the middle of mine, so I didn’t interrupt until later.

I delivered this to the man with the same thing I had:

“I’ve had a lot to do over the past two years since I finished with radiation and chemo. I’ve been up against the wall, so weak and frail and dehydrated that I was a candidate for kidney failure if I didn’t get on the stick.

“My death march ended with an intervention when my advisors told me I looked like I might die if things didn’t change. They promised drastic measures if I didn’t snap out of it. You’ve heard of Scared Straight? Well they scared the sick out of me.

“I’ve seen a lot of people in doctor’s waiting rooms and treatment facilities. I’ve seen the look of death in their eyes. I saw it in my own eyes. It was a weird mix of terror and calm. I’m looking at you,” I said.

To make sure he got my communication I eyeballed the hell out of him until he flinched.

“I don’t see it in you,” I said. “I don’t see the death march and I know what I’m looking for. You’re gonna be fine. Now get to lifting and start setting person records again.”

With that he moved to the next gym buddy and another welcome back. The gym love was a thing of beauty. I sort of regretted not being better at cancer communication, but I had all I could handle trying to avoid talking about it.

So I’m writing a book instead.

About what, you ask? And why? This is why:

The Oral Cancer Foundation says this:

HPV oral and oropharyngeal cancers are harder to discover than tobacco related cancers because the symptoms are not always obvious to the individual who is developing the disease, or to professionals that are looking for it. They can be very subtle and painless.

Harder to discover? This is where my work in progress comes in handy.

If you’ve had sexual relations with one woman, and she’s only been with you, you’re probably in the clear.

However, if that’s not the case and you’re a player on the dating scene, had been player, and you hook up with players who’ve been with other players, you might want to get yourself looked at.

Look, this isn’t a judgement call on morality or swinging lifestyle, it’s more a lifesaving effort. Think of it as lifesaving. Your life.

From Web MD:

The first symptoms of throat and mouth cancer — also known as oropharyngeal cancer — may differ depending on whether the condition is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), a small study suggests.

Oropharyngeal cancer arises in the throat, soft palate, tonsils or base of the tongue. Smoking is a major risk factor, as is chronic infection with certain strains of HPV — which causes warts in the genitals, mouth and anus, and is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States.

That’s an eye opening opener from WebMD, a most trusted site to discover you’re dying from something you don’t have.

That’s not the case with hpv16 cancer. It’ll get you.

The Center For Disease Control adds:

HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Of the more than 100 types of HPV, about 40 types can spread through direct sexual contact to genital areas, as well as the mouth and throat. Oral HPV is transmitted to the mouth by oral sex, or possibly in other ways.

Possibly other ways? Sounds like a mystery.

Mount Sinai makes a solid contribution to the discussion:

Over the past decade there has been at least a four- to five-fold increase in the number of oropharynx cancers in the US. The oropharynx includes the tonsils and the base of the tongue. The increase in these cancers is a result of HPV infection. 

I’ll wrap up with this from the Cleveland Clinic:

Evidence strongly suggests that oropharyngeal HPV is predominantly transmitted by sexual contact. An increase in oral sex is suspected as the cause of the increase in the prevalence of oropharyngeal HPV infection, although several sexual behaviors seem to be related to HPV prevalence.

The risk of infection increases with an increasing number of lifetime or recent sexual partners for any type of sexual behavior (vaginal sex, oral sex). With 20 or more lifetime sexual partners, the prevalence of oropharyngeal HPV infection reaches 20 percent. Smokers are also at greater risk than nonsmokers, with current heavy smokers at particularly high risk.

Top Five Listings From hpv16 Google Search

The highlights I’ve included here make one thing clear: talking about sex cancer is awkward. To curb the queazy effect words like ‘suspected’ and ‘seem to be related’ and ‘possibly in other ways.’

Only CDC nails it cold with: Oral HPV is transmitted to the mouth by oral sex.

The Cleveland Clinic page comes with a condom ad, so that’s a step in the right direction, which is why I’ve undertaken a memoir on what happens when you get a diagnosis of sex cancer.

Amazon Search

Since hpv16 numbers are increasing at such an alarming rate according to Mount Sinai, wouldn’t it be good to get a heads up account on what lays down the road? Why not something more readable than the sanitized professional observations of the un-touched?

I searched amazon for ‘hpv16 cancer memoir’ and found? Nothing. The comp list is pretty clear in the message: Write it, writer.

A man I follow does it his way.

Another is HPV Superman.

Everybody responds differently to everything, but I’d like to leave with a reminder:

1. If the numbers of your sex life add up according to the research here, get your shit checked out.

2. If you have kids and worry about their susceptibility, get them vaccinated.

3. The most important part of cancer treatment for hpv16 sex cancer starts after you finish the treatment phase. After that you’re standing in the pre-existing condition line. You may feel like a reject, a piece of debris, the left over ash from hot times in the old town.

My work in progress with the temporary title “Licking Cancer In The Beaver State” is not a book of faith, a book of warning, or a self-aggrandizing stroll down misery lane with a smiling face.

My test readers have called it “angry” and “profane” and “bitter.” For good reason since it is an angry, profane, and bitter story. It’s fucking cancer for god’s sake, not the gift of cancer, the blessing of cancer, or the lucky cancer.

Instead, it’s a communication primer on where to find the guts to continue, to show up, to make a difference in the lives of strangers. What do you do when you can’t swallow, can’t breath, and can’t eat? You die, right?

Not so fast. I’ll give the details in the book. Until then, remember you don’t die from what you think you’ll die from because after reading my story you won’t think about dying any more.

Sound fair?

Last thing: Did I go one up on the gym guy by explaining the harshness he missed? What do you think?