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HEALTH PLAN? WHERE TO START

One health plan: don’t get sick.
After that it’s a roll of the dice.
But chances are pretty good you will come down with something, hopefully not THAT something, the devastating something that shakes so hard that all of the leaves and nuts and fruit fall off your tree.
With that in mind, let’s start with the ‘don’t get sick’ plan.
During a recent scroll/troll down twitter/x I saw a guy pushing water.
Pushing it away.
He said he hasn’t had a drink of water in the past year because the human body makes its own.
Yes, he’s that guy.
The man looked to be in his thirties, a little wild-eyed, and bushy tailed.
Anyone can read his advice on twitter and think, ‘finally someone with answers,’ but what’s the question because I missed it.
More than one crackpot likes sharing what seeps out of their cracks, but this one was special with his ‘who needs water’ take.
He reminds me of social media influencers in their thirties and forties who dispense their health plan with great enthusiasm, but don’t acknowledge their results are based on their youth.
Give the water boy a haircut on the high and tight side, a beetle-browed expression, and he maybe, could, convince me I don’t need to drink any water, too.
Who needs water?

 

Social Media Manners For Water Boy

Too many readers and cruisers and shit-talkers respond the same way to moronic posts with:
“F-you, you f-ing idiot, take your stupid sh#t somewhere it makes sense, like to your Ma and Pa if they even f-ing claim you on their family tree.”
I write a blog to avoid shit-posting all day because there’s more than a day’s worth of dumb on every screen refresh.
I find it helpful to my children who already say I post like a teenaged girl with her first iPhone.
Come on, I’m better than that. I produce content with authority and style.
Take water. Ragging the water boy was an intro to this from healthline.com:

 

Why Is Water Important? 16 Reasons to Drink Up

Water makes up a majority of your body weight and is involved in many important functions.
This includes flushing out waste from your body, regulating your body temperature, and helping your brain function.

 

One of the big features with certain male influencers on social media is their complaining.
One complaint is their inability to attract the kind of women they are attracted to.
They call themselves ‘involuntary celibate.’
It’s not a new term. Every time I hear it I laugh a little, but mostly it’s sad.
What is with a guy that makes them publicly announce that they can’t get laid?
They’re hoping for ‘pity sex?’
Those who know, know, and they know pity sex is reserved for people after their silver wedding anniversary.
Why can’t these guys manage to hook up? It starts with their breath.

 

Water is a main component of saliva.

 

Stay with me here:
If water flushes waste out of your body, and saliva is made mostly of water, then your breath smells like a port-0-potty on the third day of a music festival if you don’t drink water.

 

Man: Hey, baby. Are we cool?
Woman: Jesus, did the wind change and that’s why I smell a rotting landfill?

 

Let the romance begin.
Health Plan: Drink water.
Date Plan: Drink water and brush your nasty teeth.

 

A Serious Health Plan

Aside from the fun and games of youth:
I didn’t see a dentist for ten years and he told me if everyone had choppers like mine he’d be out of business.
Aside from the fads and gimmick diets:
Eat only vegetables, eat only protein, eat vegan, eat ethnic, avoid dairy, wheat, and sugar.
Aside from looking for answers in all of the wrong places, do this:
Remember what your junior high PE teacher said when you looked over at the girl’s class.
He said focus on what you’re doing, not what they’re doing, or you might join them. (Hey Mr. Hoffman)
Remember what your geology professor said.
“Once continental drift became the standard, the people who couldn’t accept the new science had to find new jobs.”

 

We are a continuation of an evolutionary process, whether we like it or not.
I happen to like it. I like being at the forefront of human existence.
Relax, I’m not some influencer, or doing a try out. No sales pitch here.
All I’m saying is we ought to be happy to share this time in history together.
Let a true health plan begin with that, then don’t get sick.

 

About David Gillaspie

I am a writer. This is my blog story day by day.

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